Can I Call Myself Celibate Yet?

Look up celibacy in the dictionary and you will see a photo of me looking right back at you. Big cheesy smile and everything. The Webster’s Dictionary definition of celibate is 1: an unmarried status. 2: abstaining from sexual relations. So, yep, I’m totally there on both counts.

Apparently I’m in good company because it seems the likes of  Lady Gaga, Lenny Kravitz, Peter Andre, Britney Spears and Colin Farrell consider themselves celibate too. I should make it clear, I’m not complaining about my current status because I know it’s own choice. I know that, at the end of the day, if  I really and truly just wanted to have sex I could go and find a willing participant in a club, bar, outside of my local KFC or by using the safest option – browsing through my Facebook friends list.

But, that’s not my style at all. I’m not sure if it means I’m part of an endangered species but, I’m someone who believes sex means more than that. Call it a bit of the ‘Charlotte York syndrome’ if you must but, I’m definitely a little ‘traditional’ when it comes to sex. Don’t get it twisted, I’m not saying that I want to wait to be married before I next knock boots with a guy (No Siree!) but what I am saying is that it’s gotta mean something. We don’t necessarily have to be deeply in love or anything but I’d prefer not to have to be chucking some random Tom, Dick or Harry out of bed halfway through the night because I can’t stand to see the sight of him.

Last year’s summer flings in Barbados aside, the only men I’ve had sex with have been guys I thought were going to be around for awhile. Guys, who at the time, I was seeing and generally spending lots of time with. On each occasion I thought it was going to be something that lasted, but it never did. More fool me, it was never more than a few months before something went wrong. So what has emerged from those experiences is a 33 year old who has never known what it’s like to experience sex within a long-term relationship.

I manage to get some here and sometimes get some there but mostly there tends to be a reeeeeaaaally long time in between hits. I’m talking 2 years and 7 months at the longest point (yikes!). I’m currently standing at 1 year and 3 weeks; is that long enough to call myself celibate? I think so. If not, surely I have the right to call myself a ‘born again virgin’?

Oh and I’ve never had a fuck buddy either. Never been in one of those ‘friends with benefits’ situations. I mean, sure, I have had a couple of ‘FWB’ offers over the years but I’ve never taken anyone up on it. I just don’t feel comfortable with the idea. Sheesh, maybe I’m actually more like Charlotte York than I’d like to admit?

“How can a person have really hot s-e-x with someone they don’t even like?”  Charlotte York, Sex And The City, 2002.

What are your thoughts? Am I missing out? Please do share your fuck buddy stories with me. Let me know, should I get with the ‘FWB programme’ or continue working on the great relationship I already have with my Rabbit? (PS – Can I still call myself celibate if I have sex with a rabbit? Answers on a postcard….)

Why I Miss The ‘Old’ Sex And The City

Today, the very highly anticipated Sex And The City 2 movie is released in the UK.

Having been a huge fan of the TV series, I’m disappointed to say that I’m not as excited about the sequel as I’d like to be. I think it’s because I feel it should have been left alone, I don’t want my fantastic memories of the SATC girls ruined by more crappy sequels. Admittedly, I LOVED the first movie with an absolute passion (saw it once in Toronto, once in London and about eight times on DVD) but I’m worried that the dollar signs have caused the studio execs to take it too far.

For me, gone is the smart, gritty, scarily real-to-life take on modern relationships that we saw in the TV series. How many times did you laugh out loud because you could relate to exactly what the girls were going through? Or how many times did you think ‘I’ve done that’ or ‘Oh my god, I know that sort of guy’?. It’s now been replaced with unrealistic glossy-looking scenes in Abu Dhabi (actually, Morocco) involving riding camels through the desert and expensive designer labels. Granted, Manolo Blahnik’s were always there but these days SATC is more like a glorified clothing catalogue than about the four bold, intelligent women who wouldn’t allow men to define them who we so fondly remember.

The brilliant sexually ground-breaking script, the single girl dilemmas, it seemed they were just like us. Going through the same things we were going through. Now, they seem to be glamorous, fluffy, glittery sparkly versions of their former selves. Also, this time around, the posters contain some of the most ludicrous airbrushing I’ve ever seen.

Kim's face. SJP's hair. Shoddy airbrushing.

Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not hating on the movie. In fact, I’m going to see it tonight and I’m very much looking forward to it too; my love for Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha runs deep. I’m looking forward to lots of laughs and some ‘ooohs’ and ‘aaaahs’ too. Hell yeah, bring it on! It’s the ultimate girlie night out.

Am I excited about seeing the movie? Yes. Am I expecting it to remain true to the TV series that influenced a whole generation of women? (Manolos, Cosmopolitans, vibrators, cupcakes, going for brunch and yes, even the way we date). Unfortunately no I’m not.

The Past…

The Present….

Huge difference eh? Ah well, at the end of the day, I’m still planning on raising a cocktail glass (or three) to our fave New York Girls later tonight. Cheers!

It’s Friday!

I’ve written a whole lot this week…. and really enjoyed it! Its been an interesting week, really enjoyable. I started a new Twitter channel (Twitter.com/thesinglefilez in case you were wondering) I revived this blog and I now feel inspired to keep it going. The scary thing is, it has sunk in that by writing this blog I am now under pressure to actually secure dates to write about. Ooooh, the pressure! I am looking forward to it all though, I think it will be fun.

For today I’m taking a little break from the writing and leaving you with a funny video clip instead. Well, it made me laugh anyway. Probably because I can personally relate to the content. Here for your viewing pleasure, is Jackie Kashian singing the praises of online dating.

Oh and one more thing. For my fellow Sex & The City fans, click here to see the brand new trailer for Sex & The City 2 – enjoy!

Have a good weekend all, see you on the other side.
Single Lady
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