So get this… I haven’t been on a date in over five months and my dating life sucks balls (mind you, even when I was actively dating… my dating life still sucked balls) but for some reason, people actually want to speak to me about DATING and even consider me to be some sort of authority on the subject. Crazy huh?
Well, even though I don’t seem to be too great at doing the whole dating thing, if there is one thing I can do, it’s talk about it. A lot.
Click Tonight... all about the partaaays
So, when I was approached by Click Tonight, the UK’s leading Party Dating website, and asked to talk about my life and experiences being a single girl in London – I figured, who was I to say no? Click Tonight is a cross between social networking and dating and definitely a site I’ll be looking at more in the future but, for now, if you’re remotely interested in hearing a bit of gossip, reading about the best (and worst) date I’ve ever been on and also my advice to the newly single and fabulous… head on over to the Click Tonight blog by clicking HERE and have a read.
Just the other day my Twitter bud @WendiWrites reminded me that in part two of my ‘Get The Guy’ Women’s Weekend post I promised to go into more detail about the ‘Keep The Guy’ section. I’d completely forgotten that I was going to write about it (thanks Wendi!) but definitely feel I should. This was the part of the workshop that spoke to me the most, because this is the part I always fall down on. You may not see it from reading this blog, but I can actually attract the guys. Maybe not so much recently, but attracting guys never used to be my issue. What’s always been my problem is keeping the guys once they’re attracted.
For instance, there was the guy who lied about who he was and then my whirlwind three month romance that included two international trips, lots of sex and all kinds of promising potential… until he disappeared off the face of the earth. Obviously I can’t help but wonder if its down to me falling for the wrong type of guy or if its down to something I do or say. For it to happen once or twice is understandable, but for it to happen over and over again, to the point of me being 34 and never having had a long term relationship tells me it could be me. So when dating coach Matt Hussey said this part of the weekend was going to look at the six major factors that often kill a relationship before it gets started, my ears perked right up. Was I finally going to get the explanation I’d been wanting for so long? Was I finally going to find out what it is that I do or say that always seems to kill potential relationships dead?
Here are the six major factors that can kill a relationship before it starts:
When you’ve been single for awhile (or forever, in my case) it’s extremely easy to have very low self-esteem. It’s easy to come to the conclusion that something is wrong with you. It almost makes sense for you to think you’re not good enough because everyone else around you – siblings, parents, cousins and friends – can find people who want to be in a relationship with them, but you never can. It doesn’t matter how many people say you have a stunning smile if you’ve never been able to keep a guy interested in you for more than a few months at a time. So, yup, low self-esteem is inevitable.
Not too long ago I was on Twitter and I came across a few tweets that made me sit up and take notice. It felt as though The Dating Optimist‘s tweets were directly aimed at me:
“Do what you need to remind yourself why you’re awesome. If YOU think you’re worth dating, others will think so too.”
“The BIG advice: Write a list of 50 things awesome about you: What you know, what you can cook, jokes you tell well, how big your heart is…”
So I decided I should write a list to remind myself exactly why I’m awesome. Not a list of 50 things because that’s way too much and I can’t even think of 50 things. Also, wouldn’t 50 things would be an absolute snoozefest of a blog post? Anyhoo, with that in mind, here are 20 things that are awesome about me:
'Get The Guy' DEFO gives you a lot to think about...
After a very jam-packed day one, day two of the Get The Guy Women’s Weekend kicked off with the trainers giving us feedback on how we performed the night before. Did we breakthrough any barriers? How many men did we speak to? Yada, yada, yada. I’m ashamed to say that I let myself down and didn’t approach any men whatsoever. Don’t get me wrong, I did speak to lots of men but only after someone else (a trainer, one of the other ladies) broke the ice first. Even thought there weren’t any guys in the bar that I fancied, I still didn’t have the guts to walk up to one and strike up a conversation from scratch.
The feedback I received from the trainers confirmed what I already knew, that I’m absolutely fine when speaking to men. They noticed I had no problem keeping a conversation flowing. They said I came across as confident, fun and engaging. They also said it doesn’t make sense because elements of my job are way more scary than approaching a random guy. I’ve worked with celebrities. I’ve met people whose work I admire. I’ve had to walk up to the likes of Will Smith, Tyrese, Paul Walker and John Legend and introduce myself. I’ve had to tell them where they need to be or who they need to speak to. The trainers (very rightly so) said that to some people, introducing themselves to a celeb would be way more nervewracking than approaching ‘some dude’. Work is what I have to do. The trainers pointed out that if I wanted to see results in my love life, making more of a effort is something I have to do.