Ok, so I already decided that it’s time to get ballsy (still not quite sure where exactly I’m going to get these balls from, but anyhoo) and I’ve already started browsing the interwebs for singles events to attend in the new year but I’ve been thinking, if I’m going to do things differently this time, then I really have to do things differently….
Looking back over my dating life (in particular, my dating life since I started blogging) there have been some terrible disasters, granted. Long time readers will remember huge dating FAILS such as Pussy Boy and Mr PAYG. But the thing is, there have also been quite a few guys who were perfectly nice. Guys who seemed to like me but, for whatever reason, I didn’t like back. Dates such as Italian Guy, Motion Designer Guy, Older Guy, The Chatty Policeman and most recently T.B. all seemed to be relatively interested in me.
This does makes me wonder, do I have the right to complain about the fact I’m not meeting decent men, when in fact I have met men this year? Perfectly nice men in fact. Nice men who like me and who want to see me again, but the feelings aren’t mutual. Men whom for some annoying reason, I just wasn’t ‘feeling’. Maybe my Mum is right after all, maybe I am just too damn picky for my own damn good. Or maybe (unsubconsciously, of course) I suffer from ‘wanting-the-men-I-can’t-have’ syndrome?
Whatever it is, I don’t like it. I need to change this behaviour in 2011. I need to take a deep look at me, the patterns I follow, the mistakes I make, the choices I make and answer the following questions: Am I too unrealistic in what I’m looking for? Am I only interested in the guys who don’t think I’m ‘their type’? Am I punching above my weight? Am I doomed to forever be attracted to guys who don’t realise how wonderful I really am? For fuck’s sake, why the hell can’t I just like a guy who likes me?
So yeah, in 2011, once I figure out exactly how to master my ‘ballsy-ness’, I then need to find a way to get out of the pattern of liking what obviously hasn’t worked for me in the past. I don’t think it’s going to be easy. This is one I may have to get friends to get involved in. Friends to help me look out for the fuckwit signs that I always seem to miss.
Failing that, anyone have the number of a great hypnotherapist? I can always get hynoptised into doing things differently and liking the right sort of guys in 2011, surely? ;-p