Believe it or not, there’s a whole lot more to me than what you see on here on the blog, on Twitter or on Facebook.
Over the past year or so, I’ve come across people on Twitter who seem to think that this is all I do. They seem to think that I spend 24 hours a day thinking/complaining/whining about being single and fantasising about how to meet Mr Right. But hey, guess what? I really don’t.
Trying to find love is just one of many things I juggle...
Just because you see me tweet or blog about these things, please don’t get it twisted and think that in my everyday life I have a ‘woe-is-me’ attitude and can’t focus on anything else other than the fact I am single.
I’ve had strangers on Twitter tell me that the reason I am single is because I write about it all of the time and that maybe if I don’t want to be single, I should shift my focus. Well, I should point out to those people that I have been blogging (on and off) for under two years now whereas I’ve been single for a whoooole lot longer that that… so err, NO.
A couple of years ago my younger sister bought me a copy of The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. You remember that book? The one that says you can change every aspect of your life and that every dream can be yours, if only you use ‘The Secret’, in other words, the law of attraction. The law of attraction is the belief that everything that’s coming into your life is what you are attracting into your life. The belief that what is going on in your mind is what you are attracting to you.
I read the book. I asked. I visualised. I sent thoughts out ‘into the universe’. Maybe I just didn’t ‘believe’ enough because years later I’m still single, I still haven’t experienced a long term relationship and I still haven’t won the lottery. (hmmph!). I’ve always been the sort of person who thinks about – daydreaming, if you will – about how I want my life to be. Call me a sceptic, but I’m just not someone who believes in the whole ‘ask the universe and ye shall receive’ philosophy.
Ask the universe and ye shall receive... does it actually work?
Have you thought about stopping writing the blog? If the blog was the reason for dating, what was the reason for the blog? Maybe blog about something else for a while?
Last week my Twitter bud Dan Austin ask me the questions above. After my most recent negative dating experience, I guess I’ve made it more than a little bit obvious that I’m not feeling too positive about dating right now.
Since my experience with East End Boy confirmed that I am stuck in a merry-go-round of being attracted to emotionally unavailable men, I can’t help wondering if there is any point in me dating. Rather than date guys for the sake of it, I think I need to take a step back and try figure out exactly why this pattern keeps occurring.
So, in answer to Dan’s questions above – yes I have thought about stopping the blog. And yes, the blog was the reason for me pushing myself to date but the actual reason for my starting the blog was to have fun while getting myself back ‘out there’. The story goes…. I had given up on trying to find someone special and was living a happily single life, but through a work-related project I had the opportunity to speak with a dating expert and a life coach. The advice I received was helpful, but one thing that stuck in my mind was that I shouldn’t give up. I had to keep trying. I was reminded that when looking for a job, you don’t give up after the first rejection – you keep scouring job ads, you keep applying, you keep going for interviews and you stick at it – that was how I needed to approach dating. I was told that I had to be in it to win it. I was told that I should take the seriousness out of it and make it more fun. It was suggested that I should write a diary or even a blog. So hey, here I am.
A huge big thank you goes out to all of the awesome bloggers who wrote for me to help me celebrate my one year blogoversary – Helene, Dazediva, Single Girlie, Single City Guy, Simone and The Hopeful Romantic – I really do appreciate it! I hope that I managed to successfully showcase a small taste of a few of the blogs I’ve discovered in the past year? There are lots of other bloggers whose work I adore, all of whom I’ve connected with since I started this journey but for now, The Single Filez is back to being just me myself & I.
The guest posts from Single City Guy and Simone from Skinny Dip got me thinking about my own anonimity. To be completely honest, the idea of whether or not I should come out and reveal my identity has actually been something I’ve played with many times over the past year.