This is the first time that I’ve featured an interview on my blog, but it isn’t the first time that I’ve written about ‘the Modern Day Matchmaker’, Paul Carrick Brunson. I first wrote about Paul back in July when I said I’d do his ‘Summer Dating Challenge‘ (which, by the way, I failed at. Miserably) but I’ve been aware of him since I first discovered his work on Twitter earlier this year.
Paul first flew onto my radar thanks to his weekly Twitter matchmaking sessions. On Wednesdays, he’d offer a date with one of his (usually male) clients to his thousands of Twitter followers. The followers interested in taking part would ask Paul questions about this client (“What does he do for a living?” “How long ago did his last relationship end?” “Who is his ideal woman, and why?”) and then Paul would answer questions using the #MDMW (Modern Day Matchmaker Wednesday) hashtag, so that everyone could track the conversation. After the Q&A’s are done and dusted, Paul would tweet a photo of his client and then go through his Twitter timeline for match requests. Considering how huge a country the US is, I haven’t quite figured out the logistics of how exactly these Twitter dates finally take place, but they do!
For Paul, who has been dubbed the ‘real life Hitch’ (and if you don’t know who Hitch is, shame on you) this isn’t just a hobby; this is how he makes a living. He is a certified life/relationship coach and he is also the founder of the ‘One Degree From Me’ matchmaking service. I’d hoped to be able to attend one of Paul’s regular ‘Flow Dating’ events while I was in New York City earlier this summer, but unfortunately the event took place the day after I left town, typical!
Flow Dating in NYC. I missed out on an event like this by just ONE day *sigh*
Just over three weeks ago I decided I needed to ramp up my search and so decided to actually PAY for a dating website. I knew that if I was going to part with my hard-earned cash, I should go for eHarmony, one of the reputed best. Problem is, it’s nearly a month into my three month membership and I’m yet to find it enjoyable.
I’m guilty of having been slightly addicted to lesser dating sites in the past and I’ve now come to the conclusion that it’s because other dating sites are similar to man catalogues (if such things existed) and eHarmony isn’t. Unlike other dating sites, eHarmony doesn’t let me browse through pages and pages of men. It doesn’t give me the opportunity to flick through photo after photo to see who catches my eye. eHarmony is a site that does the picking on my behalf, which means I only get to see who they put in front of me. So far that has meant I haven’t come across many guys I find physically attractive.
I love music from the 90’s. This was the era that gave us music from the likes of Jodeci, Intro, H-Town, Mary J Blige, R. Kelly, Tevin Campbell, Hi-Five, Mariah Carey, Xscape, Kris Kross, Naughty By Nature, Heavy D, TLC, Jade and SWV. I didn’t appreciate it at the time, but now when I look back on this time of my life I realise how amazing it was . In the 90’s I finished secondary school and went to college, I started hanging out with my friends (a lot), I started to become popular with boys (woo-hoo!) and I no longer needed parental company to go to concerts (thus began the “Jodeci groupie phase” of my life. I confess to being such a groupie, that I actually did the show, the after-party AND the hotel).
Anyhoo, the other day I pulled out one my favourite 90’s albums ‘It’s About Time’ by SWV. I bought it on tape cassette in 1993 when I was only 16 years old and at the time, it was my whole world. I played it a million times, I copied their hairstyles and their clothes, I learnt their dance routines and saw them in concert. I loved those Sisters With Voices! Listening to the album today it hit me just how much more meaningful the lyrics are now compared to back then. I listened to the words of ‘That’s What I Need’ (track no. 12) and felt I could’ve been singing it myself. Not because my voice is anywhere as awesome as Coko’s, but because of the lyrics. Here, have a listen/read…
I’m not unattractive. Then again, I guess you’ll just have to take my word for it. I do admit I am hugely biased, but I happen to think I’m far from ugly. Unfortunately though, thanks to this dating malarkey, my confidence has been shot to hell. Over the past nine months I’ve been dating like a mofo and I’ve been putting myself ‘out there’ more than I normally would but apart from a few entertaining disastrous stories to share at dinner parties, I haven’t seen any substantial fruits of my labour. Why is it so bloody hard for me when it comes to these things? If I’m pimping myself out so much then why aren’t I seeing results?