Find The Guy, Get The Guy, Keep The Guy

20 Aug

I first heard about ‘Get The Guy’ thanks to the lovely Sarah Finley, otherwise known as @LovesOfaLDNGirl, who wrote an article about the Get The Guy Dating Bootcamp in the Daily Express a little while back.

Although it sounded like fun, it wasn’t until Sarah directed me to the Get The Guy website that I became intrigued and decided to go check out a seminar for myself. Last weekend I went to one of their ‘Secrets of Attraction’ events and if I’m honest, I left feeling inspired. Inspired enough to want to go and try out the things I’d just heard.

Real life 'Dating Doctors' actually do exist. WhoDaThunkIt?

Matthew Hussey, the dating doctor extraordinaire behind Get The Guy, started out as a confidence coach for men and his sessions were so impressive that his client roster grew to include big corporates such as Morgan Stanley and Accenture. But it wasn’t until he turned his hand to doing workshops for women, teaching them how to get ‘the love life they wanted’ that his business really blossomed. Nowadays Matthew and Get The Guy are regularly featured on TV and radio as well as in national newspapers and well known magazines.

Held in a lovely central London hotel, my first thought when turning up to the seminar was “Wow, look at all of these women”. I saw women of all ages, women of all races and from different backgrounds. Lots of friendly, attractive, approachable women all there with one common purpose; to get help finding and keeping a man. I spoke with one of Matthew’s team and he told me their one day Secrets of Attraction seminars and Women’s Weekend boot camps take place once a month with a large number of women taking part each time. I was impressed, but bewildered. Just how bad must the current the state of affairs between men and women be, for it to have to come to this?

The one day seminar was split up into three sections: Find The Guy (where do you meet decent guys nowadays?), Get The Guy (how do you initiate conversation?) and Keep The Guy (you’ve got the first date, now how do you keep him interested?), all I which I found extremely useful and most definitely relevant. Matthew himself was down to earth, funny, honest and really easy to listen to. I found myself totally engrossed in what he was saying, amazed at how I recognised the situations, the feelings, the things he was talking about. He hit the nail on the head with so many topics it was scary. During a toilet break I overheard a woman saying “He looks so young, at first I was wondering what on earth he could possibly teach me? I walked in thinking I had wasted my Saturday afternoon but you know what? Matthew really knows his stuff!”. I agreed with her, don’t be mistaken by Matthew’s youthful looks, he really does know what he is talking about.

Without wanting to give too much away (you really must attend a seminar yourself to get the full lowdown ), here are a few interesting things took away from from the day:

  • “The Rules” are rubbish (I kind of knew that already) but Matthew really hates The Rules. Throw ’em out ladies. Matthew says call him whenever you want, go ahead and accept a Friday date on a Wednesday, don’t play hard to get and for Pete’s sake, approach him if you want to!
  • When Matthew asked a room full of single women (there were over 50 of us) “How many new men do you meet in an average week?” it was really quite embarrassing to see  no-one raised their hand until he had counted down from 10 down to four. The majority of the room meets between zero and one guy a week. One woman said she meets three new men a week, a no more than a few said they’d meet between one to two guys but the majority (me included) … meet NO new guys during an average week.
  • Most women wouldn’t approach a man because they fear rejection. Matthew let us know that most men are absolutely terrified at the idea of approaching a woman they really like too. The cocky, all-up-in-your-face guys who approach you, they’re the ones who do it ALL of the time
  • Interestingly he said, when approaching a guy, the look you give him may make more of an impression than your actual looks

The four hour session finished off with Matthew telling us all about the Women’s Weekend Boot Camps which sound like all kinds of awesome. You spend the Saturday in workshops, get one to one tuition with Matthew’s team of ‘Love Doctors’ who cover off everything from : body language, chat up lines, how to get phone numbers,  how to get the best out of group situations, how to spot a player within the first five minutes of conversation (yes, really!) and much more. On the Saturday night you all go out to a bar and put theory into practice, go out to work ‘in the field’ so to speak, all while the ‘Love Doctors’ watch from behind the scenes, taking notes and on the Sunday you have a debriefing session, giving you feedback on how you did.

A cross between Will Smith’s ‘Hitch’ and Neil Strauss’ ‘pick up artist’ workshops, but for women. Pretty damn cool.

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6 Responses to “Find The Guy, Get The Guy, Keep The Guy”

  1. Dragonessa Fiore August 21, 2010 at 1:24 AM #

    Wow that sounds very interesting! One key thing Ive been trying to do more of is just going out more… I do most of my work from home so even being around anyone to meet someone new isnt much of an option. Well…I dont allow myself the option.

    Sounds like it was well worth your Sat afternoon…will be interesting to see the difference it makes for you!

    • TheSingleFilez August 21, 2010 at 9:32 AM #

      Funnily enough that’s one of the things he said – get out more. He was talking about the how the internet – Facebook, online dating etc has meant people don’t feel the need to go out and interact in person as much as they used to. Which isn’t necessarily a good thing.

      Girl, if I was in Miami, I’d drag you out for sure!

  2. Something She Dated August 21, 2010 at 6:40 PM #

    Man alive that so fantastic!!! (not to mention what a hottie!!! lol)…I would totally sign up for the weekend thing…

    “Interestingly he said, when approaching a guy, the look you give him may make more of an impression than your actual looks”

    Don’t leave me hanging?!?! what look am I supposed to be giving???

    • TheSingleFilez August 22, 2010 at 8:00 PM #

      Great stuff huh? And yes, Matthew is a cutie. He’s actually even better looking in real life 😉

      Apparently you just play on your personality, if you’re flirty, silly, coy, sexy or whatever, that’s the sort of look you give. I still haven’t gotten around to trying it out yet… we’ll see eh?

      • Something She Dated August 28, 2010 at 12:51 AM #

        Hmm…I wonder what “clumsy like a bear” and “crazy like a fox” looks like in my eyes?

  3. Caitlyn July 19, 2013 at 3:16 PM #

    I seriously devoured his book in one day and then handed it off to my sister. One week later I have 5 new guy friends and 2 dates this weekend. But make sure to follow the program even after you get the guy, because you will want to keep him. 🙂

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