Tag Archives: Blog Crawl

Book Review: Michelle Cove’s ‘Seeking Happily Ever After’

25 Oct

Even before I started reading Seeking Happily Ever After, I already knew that the author of the book spoke my language.  Michelle Cove wrote a guest post for me during the SingleWomenRule.com blog crawl back in September and after reading Michelle’s blog crawl post – The Real Price of a Relationship – I knew that she was an author I could relate to. Michelle’s post spoke to me on a personal level. What with me being the independent single woman who has achieved everything on my own; including leaving my hometown to move to the big smoke, surviving alone in a big city, building a career, securing a mortgage and going on regular (sometimes solo) holidays. I’m the archetypal “I’m-the-one-used-to-being-in-control-of-everything-in-my-own-life” sort of chick.

So if Michelle was able to sum me up in one amazing blog post, what would it be like to read her whole book? I wanted to love the book because having had several email conversations with Michelle, I think she rocks – BIG TIME. However, upon reading, I found that while I loved her delivery, her tone of voice and her ability to read like an encouraging girlfriend giving me advice over Sunday brunch; it didn’t feel as though the booked was as ‘aimed at me’ as I was hoping it would be.

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There’s More To Come…

1 Oct

I can’t believe it’s been six months, already. Admittedly, I actually started blogging as The Single Filez back in July 2009 but after a few piddly, not-very-good posts, the blog fell to the wayside.

So, this means that as far as I’m concerned The Single Filez didn’t truly kick off until the beginning of April 2010 when home alone on Easter Sunday I decided I was going to do this properly and I got things rolling by announcing to the blogosphere “I’m Back!“. I remember, at the time, not knowing if anyone was reading. In fact, I just took a look back at those posts and I see zilch comments, so I’m gonna go right ahead and guess that actually no-one *was* reading.

YAY! The six month milestone! Any excuse for a celebration eh?

Fast forward six months later and thanks to The Single Filez Twitter, now not only do people actually read and share their thoughts on my ramblings but I’ve also discovered a whole new world I didn’t know existed. I’ve made new online friends, met new offline friends, I’ve gone to a singles girls night in, a dating seminar and a bloggers film screening. I’ve taken part in the SingleWomenRule.com Singles Blog Crawl for National USA Week and I’ve pushed myself to get out and date at times when I really didnt feel like it (“I need blog content! I need blog content!”), writing this blog has forced me to more adventurous and more open to dating guys I wouldnt have considered before.

In a weird way, blogging has been very therapeutic for me. Putting my thoughts and feelings into words. And getting feedback. From people I don’t know. From people who accept me just the way I am and who don’t even know what I look like! A lot of these people have made me realise I’m not so weird after all. A lot of these people understand/have been through the same things. It’s a wonderful feeling. What a ride it’s been…. and the great thing is it’s not over yet. I feel like I’m only just getting started, I’m enjoying this. There’s definitely more to come!

In the spirit of ‘more to come’, I’ve decided to pick it up a notch. Check out the new blog header… fancy huh? Designed by the lovely @StudioPixie, check out her work at www.studiopixie.co.uk and *drum roll please*…. from now on, you can find me at http://www.thesinglefilez.com.

SWR Blog Crawl: The Real Price Of A Relationship

23 Sep

2010 SingleWomenRule.com Blog Crawl for
National Unmarried and Single Americans Week
September 19 – 25, 2010

It’s day five of the second annual SWR Blog Crawl for National Unmarried and Single Americans Week and it’s my turn to play host. I’m absolutely delighted (and to be honest, hugely privileged) to have author/film maker Michelle Cove write a guest post right here on The Single Filez.

Michelle Cove

Michelle is the co-author of the US bestseller I’m Not Mad, I Just Hate You! . She has written and edited US titles such as Psychology Today, Girl’s Life and SingleMindedWomen.com amongst many other publications. Michelle currently lives in Boston, Massachusetts and has kindly offered to be my guide if I ever decide to fulfil my childhood dream of stalking my favourite Bostonians, the Wahlbergs and the Knights (yes, huge NKOTB fan right here folks).

Today’s Blog Crawl post takes a looks at ‘The Real Price of a Relationship’. Michelle very rightly says “We are a generation of women very used to being in control (we’re often buying our own places, picking our adventures, getting jobs with some status etc.) and many single women find it hard to let go of that control when it comes to finding love”. How very true this is. I can honestly say Michelle’s post struck a chord with me, personally. Go on have a read, see if you can relate too and please be sure to leave a comment, you know you want to…

The Real Price of a Relationship
By Michelle Cove

“If he doesn’t call by Thursday, I’m not going out with him”… “I’m going to try this online dating service for two months but that’s it” … “If my boyfriend doesn’t propose in the next three months, I’m dumping his ass.” I have heard proclamations like these more times than I can count in the last couple of years, as I interviewed single women around the country for my book and documentary Seeking Happily Ever After (www.seekinghappilyeverafter.com).

It would be easy to label women who lay down dating-laws as “controlling.” After all, in many ways, today’s single women are controlling—but in increasingly amazing ways. They are earning higher paychecks than ever before; many are buying their own places; they are taking solo trips and international adventures; and figuring out how to build an entire life on their own terms. So it is easy to mistake these self-created relationship rules as one more way for women to sit in the driver’s seat. But actually, the rules are really about trying to protect one’s heart.

Believe me, I know. I joined an online dating service in my 30s, vowing to date 10 men. My plan? If none of the ten turned out to be “the one,” I would take down my profile and be done. Knowing there was an end – that I had some control over the process – made me feel safe. I proceeded to date a bunch of men, a few of them several times, and found the experience mostly pleasant. But I didn’t meet “the one” so I prepared to take down my profile after the 10th date. Right before I did, however, I received an e-mail from an intriguing man who wanted to know more about me. He thought we might be a good match. My first thought was forget it; I dated my 10 men, so I wrote back thanking him very much but telling him I was unavailable. A few days later, he wrote again, this time with an essay that made me laugh out loud. I hesitated, wondering whether I should break my rule. What if I went out with him only to face yet another disappointment? How many dates leading nowhere should one person have to endure? But then another thought passed: What if I was so hell-bent on sticking to my self-imposed rule that I missed the opportunity to meet someone wonderful? That struck me as sad—far more sad than potentially being disappointed. So I agreed to coffee, and that date lasted hour and hours. In fact, this lovely man – number 11—is now my husband.

Finding love and fighting for control have nothing to do with one another. In fact, in order to enjoy a healthy relationship, you have to allow another person some claim on your heart, and then watch with open eyes and faith how he treats it. You have to trust that you’ll be okay if it doesn’t work out, while at the same time, allow yourself the hope that it might. Vulnerability is the price you pay to be in a relationship, and I, for one, think it’s worth the price of admission.

Michelle Cove is the author of Seeking Happily Ever After: How to navigate the ups and downs of being single without losing your mind (and finding lasting love along the way) (Tarcher/Penguin, Sept. 23, 2010) and director of the feature-length documentary “Seeking Happily Ever After: One generation’s struggle to redefine the fairytale” (www.seekinghappilyeverafter.com).

Seeking Happily Ever: Available from today in the US and from 30th Sept here in the UK (Amazon UK)

Single Women Rule’s ‘Blog Crawl’ Kicks Off Today

19 Sep

When I was approached and asked to take part in the second annual Blog Crawl for National Unmarried and Single Americans Week my first thought was “errr…. but, I’m not an American”. However, when I found out more about the event and what exactly happened during the Blog Crawl, I was more than happy to jump onboard.

Today National Unmarried and Single Americans (USA) Week kicks off with the second annual blog crawl which showcases the most influential writers and blogs – established and prevailing – in the online singles community.

I’m relatively new to the online singles community, so  it goes without saying that I’m happy (and extremely proud) to announce that The Single Filez is the first international blog to be featured in the Blog Crawl, exposing National USA Week to an international audience.

The concept was created by SingleWomenRule.com; and the idea is that a blog crawl is similar to a pub crawl in the real world (sounds good already eh?). Readers will be guided to seven blogs, one each day of the week, to read a guest post by one of seven featured writers. The Blog Crawl kicks off today with an article by Executive Director of the Alternatives to Marriage Project, Lisa-Nicole Grist posted on SingleWomenRule.com, and ends next Saturday with an article by Dr. Bella DePaulo, author of Single with Attitude, and Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After on The Alternatives to Marriage Project blog.

Filmmaker and best selling author Michelle Cove joins the Blog Crawl for the first year and will be guest writing a post right here on The Single Filez  on Thursday 23rd September (so excited!) the very same day her new book Seeking Happily Ever After: How to navigate the ups and down of being single without losing your mind (and finding lasting love along the way) is released by Tarcher/Penguin.

“We hand-picked the writers and host blogs for their tenacious spirit and voice,” said Terry Hernon MacDonald, an editor of SingleWomenRule.com. “Guiding readers from blog to blog in a crawl helps each blog build their readership, while bringing a fresh perspective and new audience via the guest bloggers.”

What are you waiting for? Go on and head on over to SingleWomenRule.com for the first post in this year’s Blog Crawl. Enjoy!

SingleWomenRule.com’s Blog Crawl for National Unmarried and Single Americans’ Week
Sunday 19th September – Saturday 25th September 2010

Sunday 19th September
Nicky Grist, Executive Director of the Alternatives to Marriage Project, on SingleWomenRule.com

Monday 20th September
Melissa Braverman on Cupid’s Pulse

Tuesday 21st September
Rachel Buddeberg on All Things Single

Wednesday 22nd September
Onely on Psychology Today’s Living Single
http://www.psychology today.com/blog/living-single

Thursday 23rd September
Michelle Cove on The Single Filez

Friday 24th September
Melissa Malamut on Dating Diva Daily

Saturday 25th September
Dr. Bella DePaulo on Alternatives to Marriage Project