Tag Archives: General Dating

Fool Me Once… Shame On You

28 Aug

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”. Nice little saying, that. Not sure where exactly it comes from but I do like it. Only thing is, it doesn’t explain what happens when you fool me, THREE times. That’s exactly what I allowed East End Boy to do.

I can now come clean and admit that East End Boy got back in touch with me a few weeks ago. Typically, not too long after I decided that there wasn’t much point in me dating for the foreseeable future, he got back in touch. There I was, minding my own business, when I got a text from him;

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A Slightly Different Flava…

10 Aug

Have you thought about stopping writing the blog? If the blog was the reason for dating, what was the reason for the blog? Maybe blog about something else for a while?

Last week my Twitter bud Dan Austin ask me the questions above. After my most recent negative dating experience, I guess I’ve made it more than a little bit obvious that I’m not feeling too positive about dating right now.

Since my experience with East End Boy confirmed that I am stuck in a merry-go-round of being attracted to emotionally unavailable men, I can’t help wondering if there is any point in me dating. Rather than date guys for the sake of it, I think I need to take a step back and try figure out exactly why this pattern keeps occurring.

So, in answer to Dan’s questions above –  yes I have thought about stopping the blog. And yes, the blog was the reason for me pushing myself to date but the actual reason for my starting the blog was to have fun while getting myself back ‘out there’. The story goes…. I had given up on trying to find someone special and was living a happily single life, but through a work-related project I had the opportunity to speak with a dating expert and a life coach. The advice I received was helpful, but one thing that stuck in my mind was that I shouldn’t give up. I had to keep trying. I was reminded that when looking for a job, you don’t give up after the first rejection – you keep scouring job ads, you keep applying, you keep going for interviews and you stick at it – that was how I needed to approach dating. I was told that I had to be in it to win it. I was told that I should take the seriousness out of it and make it more fun. It was suggested that I should write a diary or even a blog. So hey, here I am.

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What’s The Point If I Can’t See The Signs?

31 Jul

Dating: Good, but not good for me

Lately I’ve been wondering what exactly is the point of me doing this whole dating thing? I mean, I know the point of the dating process; to go out and meet with potentials. To assess whether or not someone is a person you want to spend quality time with. If you’re lucky, to be involved in a courtship with someone you might want to spend the rest of your life with. So yes, I do ‘get’ what the point of it is but my question is, what is the point of ME doing it?

I’m 34 years old and I’ve been doing the dating thing for approximately 17/18 years now. Where exactly has it gotten me? What has come of it?

I’ve been dating since I was 15. I’m exhausted! Where is he?” ~ Charlotte York, Sex And The City

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East End Boy – Crashed & Burned

23 Jul

It didn’t take very long, but things have already gone sour with East End Boy. I spent my evening sat at home eating Marks & Spencers chunky chocolate cheesecake (it’s amazing, go buy it) when I was supposed to be out having my first non week-night date with a guy who I was actually excited about.  I wish I was able to explain exactly why I was home stuffing my face and drinking wine (pity party, much?) instead of being out enjoying a date, but I can’t,  because I don’t even know the answer to that one myself. However, I can tell you how it all played out…

Our first date was so enjoyable that I stayed out until 1am on a week night. That same night we made plans to meet up again at the weekend. Last Sunday, despite the fact it was raining cats and dogs and I wanted to stay cosy indoors, I went on our second date. It turned out to be the best date that I’ve had in a very long time. We went for a walk around Spitalfields market and ate dinner and shared dessert at Giraffe. Like before; plenty of good conversation, plenty of laughter, plenty of discovering we had many things in common and generally having a really good time.

We got a bit smoochy when it was time to say goodbye (PDA alert!) and he asked the same question he asked at the end of our first date, “when am I’m going to see you again?”. I was crazy busy over the next week but we managed to agree on a convenient day for us both. When I pointed out that we’d be seeing eachother again in only two short nights’ he laughed, he hugged me and he said “you’re not used to this are you?”. I admitted that it’d been a long time.

I got home and realised I had double booked myself. I already had plans on the evening I was to meet him. I wanted to see him but I didn’t want to let my friends down, so when we spoke on the phone the following night, I told him I’d do both. I’d spend a couple of hours with my friends and then meet him afterwards. He wasn’t happy with that idea because it would mean we’d only get to spend a couple of hours together. He suggested moving our date to another evening (tonight) when we’d have more time. He said, (NB: HE  said), that he wanted to spend time with me to get to know me. I thought it was sweet and I was totally up for the idea of seeing him at the weekend.

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