After writing about my ‘Nice, But Nothing Special‘ date with The Fireman, I got to thinking that I’m in danger of sounding a bit like stuck record. It dawned on me that a pattern is emerging with regards to the guys I’ve dated who I thought were ‘nice’. While they were all lovely and had done nothing wrong, the thing they all had in common is that they didn’t stimulate me in any way.
No-one enjoys being bored... right?
Italian Guy – He was very sweet and lovely and to be fair, I did go out with him twice even though I wasn’t hugely impressed after the first date. However, I still didn’t feel anything and was definitely turned off after he threw a strop when I didn’t reply to a text message as fast as he would’ve liked.
Older Guy – At first, I was excited by the idea of a older man who was really sweet and gentlemanly but by the time it got to six dates in, all I could wonder was, where on earth were the fireworks? He was a lovely guy but something was missing. It wasn’t exciting. There were no butterflies. No flirting. No late night phonecalls. No anticipation. No nothing. Next!
The Chatty Policeman – A policeman who boxed in his spare time, should’ve been interesting, right? He seemed sweet and like me, was a non-Londoner who had moved to the Big Smoke but once again I knew after the first date that I wasn’t excited but thought it was worth a second date just to be sure. On the second date he told me that he’d told his Mum about me and I knew I had to break it off.
Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not at all interested a ‘bad boy’. No siree. I just want someone who is nice… and interesting. Nice… with a bit of oomph. I came across an article on Ask Men where a female writer lists the reasons she believes ‘nice guys finish last‘. I think she sums it up brilliantly here:
Last week I had the most interesting first date I’ve had in bloody ages. Interesting enough for me to stay out past midnight on a weeknight. Interesting enough to feature a few kisses (and THAT’s something that hasn’t happened since last summer with Older Guy) and interesting enough for me to be going out with him again.
Who Is He?
I spotted East End Boy on Plenty of Fish (not that I’m keeping score, but that’s eHarmony 0 – 2 Plenty of Fish) and after a couple of messages were exchanged he asked how I’d feel about having a “proper chat, because it’d make for better conversation”. I was a little surprised. He was asking to speak to me on the phone, and not asking for my email, BBM or MSN deets? What kinda madness was this? Of course I actually loved the old school-ness of it all and once I got over my initial shock, I gave him my number.
This year hasn’t been too great for me as far as dates have been concerned. There was Lovestruck Guy, who I met at a singles event and went out with just once before he turned into a weird-ass Bug A Boo. There was also the guy my friend set me up with, who was nice enough but acted like one date was the equivalent to us having already been together for one year. When he tried to put one of my rings on my wedding finger, I knew I was entering into stage five clinger territory and couldn’t get him out of there fast enough.
With those recent experiences under my belt, you can totally understand me not having the desire (or energy) to date for awhile. However, as mentioned in my last couple of blog posts, I’m feeling refreshed and raring to go again. Here’s the first date of (hopefully) many in summer 2011…
Last week I had my first ‘non-online dating date’ in what feels like forever. It was with a friend of a friend and that fact alone made me the most excited I’ve been about a date in a while. Unfortunately, in true The Single Filez style, it didn’t end so great. But first, the backstory.
Who Is He?
Before Easter, a friend told me that her work buddy saw a photo of me on her phone and asked who I was. This, of course, sent my friend into super-charged-Cupid-mode. I didn’t mind. I’m totally open to the idea of friends setting me up. In fact, I prefer the idea of my friends matchmaking versus trawling endless dating sites.
Who needs Cupid when you have friends?