Busy, Living Life

26 Oct

Where have I been? I’ve been busy living life, and you know what? It’s been bloody great.

Admittedly, despite me saying that I was going to keep on blogging but with a slightly different vibe… it hasn’t quite worked out like that. I thought that my ‘dating break’ wouldn’t affect my blogging, but it totally has. The less time I’ve spent on dating sites and on Twitter… the more the urgency to write blog posts has dwindled.

I’ve been busy doing the things I love the do. I’ve been socialising with friends, I’ve been planning holidays (since my last blog post I’ve been to Paris, I’m going to Madrid next month and I’ve already booked a Caribbean trip for next year), working hard (I’ve started a new job) and I’ve been spending quality time with my family.

I can’t say I’ve missed trawling dating sites for dates. I can’t say I’ve missed it one bit. In fact, although I’ve made conscious efforts to date in other ways (more on that another time), I’ve really enjoyed not feeling like I’m flogging it to death all for the sake of having something to write about.

Here’s the thing though. I find it waaahaaay too easy to NOT date. This was part of the reason I started blogging in the first place. I find it too easy to concentrate on other aspects of my life, so much so, that pre-blogging it was not unusual for the best part of a year to fly past without me going on a date.

I was constantly told that this wasn’t good; “Mr Right isn’t going to come knocking at your front door”, “you’ve got to be in it to win it” etc. I had to make more of a effort. I had to put myself out there. So I did it. I started writing a blog about dating. I spent lots of time making an extra effort to put myself out there. The more guys I meet, the more likely it would be that I’d meet someone special, right? WRONG. Over a year and a half of dating pro-actively and I hadn’t even met anyone remotely worth getting excited about.

My time as a dating blogger has taught me that for some reason I’m attracted to crappy guys and not attracted to sweet guys who would probably adore the ground I walk on. It’s taught me that people around me can end a relationship and get into a new one within the blink of an eye, while I seem to be trapped in some sort of unhealthy cycle of liking guys who are unemotionally available .

So yeah, blogging about dating hasn’t found me a boyfriend BUT it has taught me a bit about myself. It’s taught me that I really need to look within myself and sort shit out before I can find someone who truly deserves to be with me.

So, as well as socialising with my girls, chilling with my family, working hard and planning trips abroad – I’ve also been going for counselling. And I’m enjoying it all. So, while you’re not seeing me as much as before, please know that I am wonderful… all is going well… I’m taking the time to invest in myself AND above all, I’m busy living life.

23 Responses to “Busy, Living Life”

  1. Laura October 26, 2011 at 10:32 PM #

    Good to hear! What a refreshingly honest post. Not that you weren’t before but it’s good to read how things are changing. You sound happy 🙂 keep it up!

    • TheSingleFilez October 26, 2011 at 10:46 PM #

      Thanks Laura! Really do appreciate the feedback 🙂

  2. Judy October 26, 2011 at 10:36 PM #

    I LOVE this post! So pleased for you – you sound so much happier and like things are back on your terms again. Though I must admit after reading through it and agreeing with everything you say I was hoping for the answer at the end… dammit, how do other people do it?!

    Seriously though so pleased for you, I may have to take a leaf out of your book 🙂 xxx

    • TheSingleFilez October 26, 2011 at 10:50 PM #

      Thanks hun. Yep, its all good… the break has made me realise I don’t want to have to trawl dating sites for dates for a good while. How on earth I’m supposed to meet someone special without doing that, I will never know but hey… there’s more to life than just dating, right? (That’s what I’m telling myself, anyway :-p)

      Here’s to finding ‘the answer’!

  3. Trace October 26, 2011 at 10:47 PM #

    Great smiley, happy blogpost!

    One fantastic thing ‘The Single Filez’ blog has done has brought you into my life and it’s richer for it! This gets a big thumbs up from me 🙂

    • TheSingleFilez October 26, 2011 at 10:54 PM #

      Exactly Trace! I may *still* be single, but being a dating blogger has introduced me to new experiences and to new people.. including YOU. I’m defo happy about that x

  4. Dan October 26, 2011 at 11:55 PM #

    Fantastic news 🙂

    I think counselling can be really useful for helping to break a pattern of being attracted to the wrong type of person, and it sounds like you’re taking loads of other positive steps too.

    Good luck – and I’m glad you’re enjoying living life. Keep doing that 🙂

    • TheSingleFilez October 27, 2011 at 11:30 PM #

      Thanks Dan. Counselling is something that I’ve been thinking about for a long while now. I’m so glad that I finally got the kahunas to actually go ahead and do it.

      Hope all is well with you!

  5. delightfuleccentric October 28, 2011 at 1:44 AM #

    Sounds like things are great – I’m happy for you! I think it’s more important to know yourself before anyone else can truly know you.

    • TheSingleFilez November 5, 2011 at 6:52 PM #

      Thank you so much! Hope all is good in your world?

  6. Natalie October 29, 2011 at 3:19 PM #

    So good to hear from you and I love your authenticity and the fact that you’re doing whatever you need to, to shake your old pattern. I went through the same thing with blogging and after a while, you start to feel like you’re becoming s caricature of yourself – the date goes bad but at least you have ‘fodder’. Keep being you and good for you with the counselling (((((hugs)))))

  7. Ruth (used to be A October 31, 2011 at 6:48 AM #

    Glad to hear you are doing so well. Proactive dating is hard to do over long periods of time! You seem to be having a blast which is, by the way, very attractive LOL.

    • Ruth (aka Arlene) October 31, 2011 at 6:51 AM #

      Oooh, sorry, I clicked send by mistake before I had time to complete me details 🙂

  8. Sparky November 4, 2011 at 3:50 PM #

    A very positive post, you sound very happy and there’s a lot to be said for not dating .. sometimes the grass is greener!!!

  9. trininista November 4, 2011 at 11:45 PM #

    This was a delight to read. I am glad you are having fun and living life and focusing on yourself. So many do not recognise the importance of this and continue to make the same mistakes. Yaay for you and enjoy!!

  10. Anna December 4, 2011 at 7:31 PM #

    That’s sound advice, the world and our problems are rarely solved at a computer screen.

  11. Zabrinah's Love Blog December 6, 2011 at 7:23 AM #

    This is good! Sometimes, though readers don’t like it, it’s a good thing to be to busy to blog! If we were ALWAYS blogging, then we wouldn’t be living life and we wouldn’t have any fabulous posts to write based on our outside experiences.

    Best wishes from one blogger to another,


  12. Jane December 19, 2011 at 6:37 AM #

    “I’m taking the time to invest in myself AND above all, I’m busy living life.”

    And that’s exactly how it happens! When you’re busy living life passionately doing the things you love and are passionate about … you’ve got it 🙂

  13. Muslim Dating UK February 6, 2012 at 8:21 PM #

    This occurs much more than people may think:

    “I can’t say I’ve missed trawling dating sites for dates. I can’t say I’ve missed it one bit. In fact, although I’ve made conscious efforts to date in other ways (more on that another time), I’ve really enjoyed not feeling like I’m flogging it to death all for the sake of having something to write about…”

    Searching for love online can be extraordinarily taxing and the more you do it – search profiles, send winks, write emails etc – the more exhausting it can become. Although for some nutty reason we all continue to do it, much like we all continue to sit on Facebook at work while disregarding official written warnings for wasting time 😛

    Making a conscious effort to date in other ways is a fantastic move on your behalf. Sure, technology is there to make our lives easier, even when it comes to finding love, but we don’t have to depend on it.

    I’m thrilled to hear that you’re loving life and that enthusiasm and energy will radiate from you and when it does, people certainly pick up on the positivity and good things come your way.

    I’ve stumbled upon this blog late but I’m certainly enjoying the read!

    Matt. x

    • TheSingleFilez February 6, 2012 at 11:22 PM #

      Thanks so much Matt. A really lovely comment to read!

  14. Fe and Rose April 10, 2012 at 5:01 AM #

    Great job with this blog. Please, do keep it up. (: Both my friend and I adore this blog to death and decided to start our own, documentsing our trvaels in ‘young love’ through highschool (884days.blogspot.com). You are a truly inspirational person. Keep up the good work! (:

    • TheSingleFilez April 11, 2012 at 9:48 PM #

      Thanks Fe and Rose. I just took a look at your blog – you guys are adorable! Thanks for reading 🙂

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