“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”. Nice little saying, that. Not sure where exactly it comes from but I do like it. Only thing is, it doesn’t explain what happens when you fool me, THREE times. That’s exactly what I allowed East End Boy to do.
I can now come clean and admit that East End Boy got back in touch with me a few weeks ago. Typically, not too long after I decided that there wasn’t much point in me dating for the foreseeable future, he got back in touch. There I was, minding my own business, when I got a text from him;
“Hey Missy. Hope you’re well. Funny thought of you today, don’t really know what happened between us. Anyway, hope you’re cool and had a great weekend with your family”
I was surprised to hear from him in the first place but also surprised that a) he said he ‘really didn’t know what happened between us’ and that b) he remembered I had a big family occasion coming up. I didn’t reply right away. I was busy with family, after all. I replied a couple of days later saying;
“Hi ‘East End Boy’. Isn’t it funny how people can interpret the same thing in completely different ways? You say you don’t really know what happened between us, whereas I just thought you didn’t return my calls and didn’t get in touch when we had plans a few Fridays back. Thanks for remembering the family event”
Then followed a text conversation where he admitted that he thought I wasn’t ‘into’ him because on our second date, when he said he wanted to see me again just two days later, I commented on the fact that it was ‘just two days later’. He also thought that because I ended up “cancelling” on him that also meant I wasn’t feeling him. He said he wasn’t ignoring me, but giving me space. He didn’t want to be ‘that guy’ who wanted to see me more than I wanted to see him.
I understood him not wanting to be that eager-beaver, keen-bean type of guy, he was obviously more sensitive than I had realised. However, me merely commenting on the fact we were making plans only two days after we’d last seen eachother, was hardly me saying “Urgh, only two days away, that’s far too much” (which is obviously what he heard in his head). Also, I DIDN’T CANCEL ON HIM. I had double booked myself but said I’d do both – see my friends and see him too. But no, HE was the one who said it wouldn’t be enough time and that we should move our date to the Friday. Does that sound like me cancelling on him? Or does that sound like him re-arranging the day of the date? I thought it was a weak excuse. Also, none of that explains why he didn’t return my calls. If he thought I wasn’t into him and then why the hell did he think I was calling him?
I wasn’t getting the answers to those questions via our text conversation. All I was getting was that he was truly sorry for ignoring my calls and that he still really wanted to see me. After pow wowing with a couple of friends… “meet him and hear what he has to say”, “don’t cut of your nose to spite your face”, “everyone deserves a second chance”… I made plans to go out with him again.
Except, it didn’t happen. Again. Twice. We made plans to go out, except it was on a day where he was out of London visiting Leeds and he got back far too late for us to go anywhere. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and made plans to go out a couple of Friday ago, except he text me at the last minute (an hour before we were due to meet) to say his niece had gone into hospital, so he couldn’t make it.
I wouldn’t wish an ill relative on anyone (if that was even the truth) but y’know… that was the last straw. That’s now three times I had planned to go out with him for it to not happen. There’s giving someone a chance (or two), and there’s letting someone take the absolute piss.
Fellas, if you’re telling a woman that you’re interested in her, this is not the way to show it. Just sayin’.