It didn’t take very long, but things have already gone sour with East End Boy. I spent my evening sat at home eating Marks & Spencers chunky chocolate cheesecake (it’s amazing, go buy it) when I was supposed to be out having my first non week-night date with a guy who I was actually excited about. I wish I was able to explain exactly why I was home stuffing my face and drinking wine (pity party, much?) instead of being out enjoying a date, but I can’t, because I don’t even know the answer to that one myself. However, I can tell you how it all played out…
Our first date was so enjoyable that I stayed out until 1am on a week night. That same night we made plans to meet up again at the weekend. Last Sunday, despite the fact it was raining cats and dogs and I wanted to stay cosy indoors, I went on our second date. It turned out to be the best date that I’ve had in a very long time. We went for a walk around Spitalfields market and ate dinner and shared dessert at Giraffe. Like before; plenty of good conversation, plenty of laughter, plenty of discovering we had many things in common and generally having a really good time.
We got a bit smoochy when it was time to say goodbye (PDA alert!) and he asked the same question he asked at the end of our first date, “when am I’m going to see you again?”. I was crazy busy over the next week but we managed to agree on a convenient day for us both. When I pointed out that we’d be seeing eachother again in only two short nights’ he laughed, he hugged me and he said “you’re not used to this are you?”. I admitted that it’d been a long time.
I got home and realised I had double booked myself. I already had plans on the evening I was to meet him. I wanted to see him but I didn’t want to let my friends down, so when we spoke on the phone the following night, I told him I’d do both. I’d spend a couple of hours with my friends and then meet him afterwards. He wasn’t happy with that idea because it would mean we’d only get to spend a couple of hours together. He suggested moving our date to another evening (tonight) when we’d have more time. He said, (NB: HE said), that he wanted to spend time with me to get to know me. I thought it was sweet and I was totally up for the idea of seeing him at the weekend.
Knowing I’d be out with my friends instead of seeing him, he told me to give him a call when I was on my way home so that we could have a chit chat. I called him Tues night, he didn’t answer. He text the next morning to apologise and said he’d call me that night. That text message on Weds morning was the last I heard from him. I called him on Weds night but once again got no answer. I didn’t think much of it until it got to Thursday night and I saw him online on Plenty of Fish. Absolutely nothing wrong with him being on there (hell, I was on there trying to hook up other dates too), but I found myself getting annoyed. He hadn’t returned my call. He could see I was online but oh no, he still didn’t message me. On top of all that, we had made plans for Friday night and now I was being ignored?
Friday came. I still took heels to work, just in case. Throughout the day, everytime I received a text message I thought it might’ve been him. But no, I didn’t hear a thing. Admittedly, I didn’t chase him. I was waiting to see if I would hear from him. I felt that chasing him to find out why he hadn’t gotten back to me would give him the upper hand. It would make me look like the weak one, begging for his time and attention. It would give him yet another opportunity to ignore me. Does that make sense? Or am I being too petty? Should I have contacted him to find out why he’d suddenly gone quiet? Or was I right to leave it alone?
What confuses me (about him and others this has happened with) is how does he go from wanting to spend more time with me, wanting to get to know me better, kissing me, enjoying that everything feels familiar with me… to not returning my call, to being online (on POF) at the same time as me but not messaging me and to going all quiet when we had previously made date plans? It doesn’t make sense.
With all of the guys I’ve dated but not been excited about, I’ve let them know. Yes, I am a huge coward and I tend to do it via text message, but at least I do let them know. The difference with this is he WAS interested. He wanted to see me, spend time with me, he would grab my hand while walking down the street FFS! So shouldn’t he have had the common courtesy to let me know what had changed?
I can’t deny it. I’m actually quite disappointed. I had bought a new top, I had researched places for us to go. I was really looking forward to what was going to be our first non-weeknight date.
More fool me, eh?