My Kind of Ballsy

7 Jun

Back in December I vowed to be more ballsy in 2011.  But yet here we are, halfway through the year (where on earth does time go?), and I look back on the last six months with a slight feeling of defeat. It’s obvious that despite my good intentions my (lack-of) love life has been hugely disappointing. It’s not for want of trying though. I take pride in knowing that I have really and truly given it a go.

I’ve made more than a just a normal amount of effort – I went to Lovestruck’s Laissez Faire singles event and tried out their dating site too. I went on a dating boot camp weekend, I signed up for an eHarmony membership and more recently I’ve even tried to get myself a date with a New Yorker.  I may not be the confident flirty type of chick who can march up to any guy and strike up a conversation but hey, this sort of effort? Yep, this is my kind of ballsy.

I'm heading back to my most favourite city in the world, alone!

So, a little about that last one… because online dating hasn’t been providing results I thought I’d try spice things up a little bit. I figured that because I’m about to head off on another solo adventure to New York City,  I would change my search settings on and talk to guys from The Big Apple instead of London. Ballsy, no?

Well, a courageous idea it may’ve been but typically it didn’t work. I’d had an OKCupid profile for months but had never bothered to use it because I just wasn’t interested in the guys on there. Lo and behold, I change the settings to search New York and… *cue Angels singing* …it was a whole new ball game!

I sent messages to six guys, explained that I’m a Brit Chick heading to NYC soon and that I thought it’d be interesting to maybe see the city in a different way and would they like to talk blah blah blah. I heard back from two of them. Granted, not amazing odds but they were both cuties,  so it was okay. Anywhoo, after a couple of messages back and forth they both did the usual ‘online dating thing’ and disappeared off the face of the earth. Scared of the ballsy foreigner, maybe? As my dear Twitter friend TCoops so very rightly said “Pah, where is their spirit of adventure? You were only suggesting day meetings, not marriage!”.

So, to recap; I’m crap at approaching men in real life but can totally do it in in my own (cowardly, online) kind of way. I’ve also instigated drinks with a cute Washington DC tweeter (he’s from my personal Twitter and doesn’t know that I’m a dating blogger) AND I’ve made plans to meet up with a guy who used to live in my building but moved to New York for work a month ago. None of these meet-ups are actual “date-date”s but hey, I asked men (who aren’t close friends) out for drinks. That’s gotta count for something, right?

Flying to another country alone, renting an apartment alone in an area of the city I’ve never been to before, making plans to meet with Twitter people who I’d only previously know via words on my computer/BlackBerry screen – now that’s my kind of ballsy. Approaching a man, not so much. Mind you, I am heading to the city of big dreams tomorrow… who knows what may happen?

Watch this space.


20 Responses to “My Kind of Ballsy”

  1. singlegirlie June 7, 2011 at 12:28 AM #

    Have a fab time in NYC! I think heading out there solo is indeed ballsy, so kudos to you for that. And who knows what might come of it?

    I really don’t understand why so many people online act all interested and then just up and disappear. It’s so odd to me, and I don’t have an explanation. If someone does, I’d love to hear it!

    Be safe and have fun, sweets!! xoxo

    • TheSingleFilez June 21, 2011 at 5:50 PM #

      Thanks my love. I had an absolutely ball in NYC, as always!

  2. Little Miss Random June 7, 2011 at 3:32 AM #

    All the best in NY and DC! It’s definitely gutsy of you to go solo, so, yes, as singlegirlie said, kudos!

    Looking forward to hearing all about your adventures (well, those you’re willing to share ;)) when you’re back!

    • TheSingleFilez June 21, 2011 at 5:45 PM #

      And I can’t wait to hear all about YOUR adventures… a DM conversation is on the cards very soon!

  3. Nikki B June 7, 2011 at 2:33 PM #

    Have fun lady! Enjoy it, and keep us posted! 😉

  4. Sparky June 7, 2011 at 5:13 PM #

    Have a great time, you never know who you might meet on the plane!! (Ever the optimist!) ..

    • TheSingleFilez June 21, 2011 at 5:42 PM #

      I sat next to a lovey dovey young couple who couldn’t keep their hands off of one another on the way there and an old woman who wouldn’t stop talking to me on the way back – blimmin’ typical! 😉

  5. myhonestanswer June 9, 2011 at 1:28 PM #

    Have a great time in NYC!

    • TheSingleFilez June 21, 2011 at 5:40 PM #

      Thank you! I’m back home now (unfortunately) but yes, I definitely had a great time 🙂

  6. the hopeful romantic June 9, 2011 at 7:29 PM #

    Awww! Well done chica! Hope you are having a great time!!

  7. Dazediva June 10, 2011 at 5:40 PM #

    Have an awesome holiday hun ! Keep us all posted via tweets and upload pics !! have a faaaaaaaaaaaaaab time !

    • TheSingleFilez June 21, 2011 at 5:37 PM #

      Thanks sweetie. I had a lovely time and got the chance to meet up with a few of the Twitter crew too.

  8. youthoughtyouhaditbad June 10, 2011 at 6:42 PM #

    Grimaldi’s in Brooklyn, walk back across the Brooklyn Bridge into Manhattan.

    You won’t regret it.

    • TheSingleFilez June 21, 2011 at 5:36 PM #

      How funny, I actually did that! I met up with a Twitter friend, we walked Brooklyn Bridge (from the Manhattan side), had a drink at a pub and then went to Grimaldi’s for pizza.


  9. trininista June 14, 2011 at 11:33 PM #

    Good luck!!! And have fun!

    • TheSingleFilez June 21, 2011 at 5:34 PM #

      Thank you! I had a fab time… back to reality now 😦

  10. Brooke Farmer June 18, 2011 at 7:19 AM #

    Obvious pussies. If I can haul my pretty ass all the way to Australia (sigh, I miss Australia, the Aussie. etc. Real life kinda blows right now) for a date then what is their effing issue??

    Have a great time in NYC. I have never been there and it’s always been on my list.

    • TheSingleFilez June 21, 2011 at 5:33 PM #

      Ahhh, not everyone in life is as adventurous as us my dear birthday twin.

      What you did is all kinds of awesome though and I salute you for doing it. Heading to Australia for a date takes some SERIOUS balls!!!

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