Book Review: Steve Harvey’s ‘Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man’

9 Mar

Steve Harvey - Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. (credit:

I’ve always liked Steve Harvey as a comedian. His series The Steve Harvey Show and his performance on  ‘The Original Kings of Comedy’ had me crying with laughter (not as much as Bernie Mac’s routine though, RIP) anyway imagine my surprise when I find out that Steve is now a “relationship expert”. How in the hell did that happen? I mean, not only does he have a morning radio show over in the US where he regularly gives out relationship advice to listeners, but he has also released a couple of books; ‘Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy and Commitment’ and more recently, ‘Straight Talk No Chaser: How To Find, Keep and Understand a Man’. Last year Steve was featured in the ABC Nightline Special “Why Can’t A Successful Black Woman Find A Man”. It seems that even the US media see him as an authority figure on how to make relationships work, which is extremely hilarious considering his first wife recently crawled out of the woodwork telling anyone who would listen that Steve cheated on her throughout their marriage.

Anyway, I digress.  I’ve just finished reading ‘Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man’ and I’m sorry to say,  I didn’t enjoy it so much. A male friend thought I didn’t enjoy it because its “too truthful”. This friend had read the book himself and thought Steve had gotten it spot-on. This fact worries me. If guys actually think and act how Steve Harvey says they do. I’m giving up now and becoming a Nun.

To give you a flavour of what to expect, here are the chapter listings –


1. What Drives Men
2. Our Love Isn’t Like Your Love
3. The Three Things Every Man Needs: Support, Loyalty and The Cookie
4. “We Need To Talk”, and Other Words That Make Us Men Run For Cover


5. First Things First: He Wants To Sleep With You
6. Sports Fish vs Keepers : How Men Distinguish Between  the Marrying Types and the Playthings
7. Mama’s Boys
8. Why Men Cheat


9. Men Respect Standards – Get Some
10. The Five Questions Every Woman Should Ask Before She Gets In Too Deep
11. The Ninety-Day Rule: Getting the Respect You Deserve
12. If He’s Meeting the Kids After You Decide He’s “the One”, It’s Too Late
13. Strong Independent – and Lonely – Women
14. How to Get the Ring

All sounds very delightful, eh?

Shanae Hall - Why Do I Have To Think Like A Man? (credit:

Apparently Steve’s book is to help us women get into a man’s mind-set and to understand him better. To allow us to put into play our plans, our dreams, our desires and ‘best of all’ so that we can figure out if he’s planning to be with us or just playing with us. But, personally I can’t wait to read Shanae Hall’s book “Why Do I Have To Think Like A Man? How To Think Like A Lady And Still Get The Man”, I get the feeling it might be more my cup of tea.

18 Responses to “Book Review: Steve Harvey’s ‘Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man’”

  1. Jackie Summers March 9, 2011 at 11:37 AM #

    This asshat is about as qualified to give relationship advice as an old tire and about as interesting. The idea that all men think alike in and of itself is idiotic to the point of being offensive.


    • TheSingleFilez March 10, 2011 at 9:32 PM #

      Firstly, can I say how much I love the word ‘asshat’?

      Secondly, thanks for commenting. I always appreciate your view Jack, and the fact that you’ve confirmed that Steve has gotten it wrong means I no longer have to get fitted for a nun’s habit 😉

    • mykidsrt May 9, 2012 at 4:35 AM #

      why not? all women think alike when it comes to what we want in a man generally. It is our nature so to men, it is theirs. ofcourse they may differ from each other in some ways just as we do as women. We are still individuals that come from different rearings so this can play a big part of how we are molded as human beings but it is true, face it, generally, all men think alike.

  2. nikki04 March 9, 2011 at 2:03 PM #

    Amen, Jacks. We stereotype men just as much as we do women. It’s gross.

    This book was randomly left in my house by the previous occupant (my landlord’s daughter). I am embarrassed by it’s existence – although I toyed with the idea of reading it for material to rant about.

    • TheSingleFilez March 10, 2011 at 9:42 PM #

      Not sure if Steve was ‘stereotyping’ or if he just genuinely thinks that his word is gospel and that he can honestly speak on behalf of all men.

      It was an interesting read, if only for me to come to the realisation, “I don’t want to be with a guy who thinks like THAT”.

      • Floridity April 4, 2011 at 11:05 PM #

        A few months or so ago I got this as an ebook cause of all the hype, and “I dont want to be with a guy who thinks like THAT!” was exactly what I got from it. Then again, I dont want to be with the kind of guys I tend to attract and date either…Argh! Hah!

  3. andthatswhyyouresingle March 9, 2011 at 2:53 PM #


    How many of the people who trash talk this guy have actually read his book other than SF? If you’re going to be critical, at least have the integrity to have read the book first. I can’t stand when people get on their high horse about various books and base their opinion on excerpts they read on the internet. Sorry, I just hear jealousy that this guy get’s recognition and taken seriously.

    If you watched the Dateline special (and I highly recommend it just for the way Hill Harper puts Sheree Shephard in her place about dismissing men who have potential) or any of Harvey’s appearances, you’d hear a lot of common sense thinking.

    Note: Hill Harper wrote a book as well. He’s an actor (CSI NY) and a Harvard grad and he’s single.

    • TheSingleFilez March 10, 2011 at 9:46 PM #

      Hey there, I can only speak for myself but I personally didn’t like the picture that Steve Harvey painted of men in that book.

      The Dateline special wasn’t shown here in the UK, but I saw a clip via Youtube, looked extremely interesting…

      I knew that Hill Harper was also moonlight as a relationship expert, but wasn’t aware he’d written a book too. I’ll look it up, thanks!

  4. Missy March 9, 2011 at 4:15 PM #

    I watched the dateline specials on YouTube recently and although I found it entertaining, it did leave me wondering how applicable what they are saying is to black men and women in the UK and whether it really is that much of an issue here.

    Between Steve Harvey, the NBC special and research like this as a black female in almost exactly the same situation as our single filez author, I felt kinda depressed after I’d stopped laughing…

  5. Rhonda March 10, 2011 at 7:21 PM #

    Thank you, for listing our book here! I do hope you pick up a copy. You can see chapter excerpts from our book on It is available on Amazon, at Barnes and Noble, Borders and Walmart and at stores abroad. We appreciate you!

    Rhonda Frost
    Why Do I Have to Think Like a Man? How to Think Like a Lady and Still Get the Man

  6. trininista March 16, 2011 at 3:56 AM #

    While I agree that the book paints a negative picture of men, what is scarier is the fact that I have met all those men. lol. I guess it comes down to one’s experiences and sadly, I could relate to a lot he was saying. I watched him when he was on Oprah, which prompted me to get an e-copy of the book (I did not buy this!!!) and the points he raised and the issues discussed really made a lot of sense. To say it applies to all men though – hardly likely. The same way a lot of stuff that some women are guilty of simply does not apply to me and to millions of other women.

  7. emon davenport December 9, 2011 at 3:39 AM #

    Lol…..those of you saying that you don’t want a man that acts like that probably don’t have a man. Steve Harvey is giving you advice on how men operate and act and what man wouldn’t say he doesn’t act like that??? men are simple creatures and it is not a bad thing meaning they are not as complicated as women. half the time it’s the women running around trying to figure the man out and change him….but when another man trys to give you advice you brush it off?? A typical man won’t tell you anything if you have a sibling that is a male you can probably hardly get advice from him…..mmmmmmm and most of you have probably been getting into the same situations with men and then saying all men act alike but when he says it,it’s a problem?? men will never act like women and why would you want them to?? god made each sex different for a reason and a man is going to be a man period…regardless of if you accept it or not

  8. Just Me With . . . January 14, 2012 at 12:43 PM #

    I did not read the book, but I stopped listening to Steve Harvey’s radio show because it turned into just a place to market his books and preachings. I also felt that he treated all men and women as the same. He would get a letter from a woman who was in the middle of some extreme (and obviously stupid) circumstance with a man and then in giving advice say, “this is what women do” “this is what all women do” — I tired of being put in a same category as a woman who, for example, lets an unemployed married man move in with her and her children after knowing him for a month. Not all men are dogs like that, not all women are idiots. I don’t blindly discount everything he says, some of it is common sense. Perhaps some women haven’t had mothers or sisters or friends to tell them the basics and need Steve Harvey to do it. I’m just not one of those women. I have home training. US press never knows who to go to for the “black” or “female” perspective, but often it’s a man and often women flock to hear a man’s advice, a man’s voice — thus the success of the book. I call it the preacher effect. It’s marketing genius, really.

    • "Act like a conniving control freak, think like an immature, stunted child" April 24, 2012 at 7:53 PM #

      this is the most intelligent analysis of his work that i have seen thus far…remember his agenda is strictly fueled by marketing and increasing profits

  9. Muslim Dating | Matt February 16, 2012 at 12:05 PM #

    “…imagine my surprise when I find out that Steve is now a “relationship expert”. How in the hell did that happen?”

    That gave me a good little chuckle 😛


  10. Terry March 12, 2012 at 5:08 PM #

    Thank you for the review, which I agree with wholeheartedly.

    Harvey’s tutorial on doling out the “The Cookie” straightened my hair. Oprah lost credibility by endorsing his ridiculous book.The only good reason to read it is to make sure you don’t end up with a creep like Steve Harvey.

  11. Frika Pele March 23, 2012 at 6:03 AM #

    I’m sorry that most of you didn’t enjoy the book and it’s unfortunate that you think the book is ridiculous. I read it twice after being played by a married man and other jerks for 5 long years. After taking Steve’s advice, I used the 90 day rule and other chapters to see if my lovelife will improve. I am now engaged to a nice man. Thank you Steve!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: