New Year Dating Resolutions

30 Dec

Being single over the Christmas period wasn’t a big deal to me. Spending Christmas with my family is all that I’ve ever known, so it is what it is. However, what does mean more to me is the thought of a brand new year. Some may say a brand new year is like a brand new start. A clean slate. A way start from scratch. However, I always think of it as a time where I take stock and reflect upon things achieved or not achieved in the previous year.

2010 was yet another year that passed without me having the chance to experience what it would be like to have a boyfriend.  I also didn’t get any nookie in 2010 either (currently celibate for 1 year and 5 months, but who’s counting? Ahem). Admittedly, despite attending both a Girls Night Out singles event and a Get The Guy dating seminar in 2010, I’m still none the wiser as to how the hell I’m supposed to make eye contact with potentials I see out in public, but that’s something I plan to work on in 2011. However, on the positive side, I managed to do a lot of great things in 2010. The highlight was my solo adventure to New York City, Philadelphia and Barbados last summer, plus I was lucky enough to finish off the year with a trip to visit family in Toronto. Also, this year I became a Godmother to my best friend’s new baby girl and I left behind a job that was so stressful it was driving me to tears. Of course, I can’t forget the fact that this blog became a huge part of my life and I got to meet some rockin’ new people because of it.

There are plenty of things I’d like to achieve in 2011 but with regards to my dating/love life, here are five resolutions for the new year that I hope I manage to stick to.

  1. Be more confident when it comes to approaching men. It’s not like I have anything to lose. Either they’ll be interested, or they won’t. Right?
  2. Make eye contact, smile and just be warm and welcoming so that men feel then can approach me. If you already know me, I’m one of the most friendly, happy, smiley women you’d ever meet BUT I’ve been told (on more than one occasion) that I don’t give off welcoming vibes to men when I’m in a social situation. I need to change this.
  3. Pay more attention to signs that a guy is no good. Guys who try to put their hands down my bra on the first date?  Guys who tell me they prefer to date women who have kids/baby-daddy dramas so they don’t have to get ‘too involved’ and guys who try to match our surnames before we’ve even met? I will NOT be ignoring red flags in 2011.
  4. Learn how to let a guy know when I’m not interested without dragging it out. I tend to worry too much about hurting a guy’s feelings. From now on, I need to be straight with them as soon as possible to avoid crossed wires and unnecessary effort on their behalf. It’s better all around.
  5. No more dating guys I feel so-so about, just for the sake of blog content. Pushing myself to get out and date is a good thing but dating guys I don’t feel excited about/ have no interest in, just for the sake of a blog post is not.

Do you plan to do anything differently in 2011? What have you learnt in 2010? Whatever you do, I want to wish everyone a fantastic, happy, healthy new year. Let’s make it a good one! See you on the other side.

(I’d like to shout out the fellow bloggers and Twitter folks I had the pleasure of meeting/become friends with in 2010: @WendiWrites @champychampy @SingleGalNYC @YGDancing @skyemetafrog @wedordeadwager @by_simone and @tracecoops. Thanks for helping to make this blogging experience a totally awesome one!)


6 Responses to “New Year Dating Resolutions”

  1. Wendi B December 30, 2010 at 2:47 PM #

    Ditto!! It has been a pleasure getting to know you too!

    I think the third resolution is the one I’ll be joining you on, as well as not giving men so many chances and making excuses (and you know full well that’s probably my biggest mistake!

    Here’s to a successful relationship 2011!!

    • TheSingleFilez December 30, 2010 at 7:22 PM #

      Indeed my dear. Here’s to a successful relationship. Cheers! *raises wine glass* 🙂

  2. Harriet Bond January 3, 2011 at 11:12 AM #

    Love your dating resolutions for 2011: I have written ten of my own on my blog ‘The Joys and Perils of Internet Dating: Episode 7’ at and hope I can stick to them! It’s so important for us women to have boundaries for our own self-esteem; keep up the good work!

    • TheSingleFilez January 4, 2011 at 9:10 PM #

      Hey Harriet,

      Thanks for sharing your own dating resolutions, all perfectable do-able I reckon. Here’s hoping we both have better luck in 2011!

  3. nikki04 January 4, 2011 at 3:53 AM #

    I really love that you celebrated the past, and made really thoughtful, non-grandiose resolutions. As far as the “vibe” thing, and needing to be more open – I hear ya on those points… I should work on them, too. Also – kudos for being more honest with yourself (e.g. Self! The guy is no good!) and with others (e.g. no draggin it out).

    Cheers, my dear! Here’s to 2011!

    • TheSingleFilez January 4, 2011 at 9:24 PM #

      Hey Nikki,

      It’s hard isn’t it? Knowing there are things we need to change, but getting ourselves out of the habit of doing things the way we did before…

      All we can do is work on it eh girl? Here’s to 2011 indeed!

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