Apparently, This Is Why I’m Still Single…

19 Oct

Are my habits to blame for me being single? According to MSN they are. I’m still not dating so have no juicy goss to share on that front I’m afraid but, I just finished reading Women, 10 habits that are keeping you single on MSN UK and have found myself particularly annoyed at the suggestion that I am the one to blame for being single. Okay, I admit I related to some of the points in the article, but personally I don’t think any of them are strong enough to pin my singledom on. What do you think?

So, you want to blame ME?

1. First Move Phobia
Okay. I admit, this may play a tiny part in my singledom. I’m rubbish at making the first move if I spot a guy who looks interesting. Sheeeiiit, I’m rubbish at even making eye contact. I’m shy. I’m not confident enough to approach a guy like that. I’m scared of rejection. I’m a huge big wuss. Major fail on my part.

2. Playing Hard To Get
When I do meet a guy I like, while I am cautious and (mostly) sensible, I’m not one for playing games. If I like him, I’ll let him know that I like him. I will always judge it by how he is towards me but if he’s calling and texting me, then I’m calling and texting him too.  So nope, I’m not one for ‘playing’ hard to get.

3. Romantic Perfectionism
Errrr… a little. As mentioned in Are Chick Flicks Evil?, I do love a good chick flick and I am a sucker for a fairytale ending BUT I’m also very much a realist. I’m not expecting a guy to be perfect. I’m open to dating guys who may not act or look like that ‘rom-com knight in shining armour’ type. However, if a date does look like Ryan Reynolds or Taye Diggs – I sure ain’t complaining either.

4. Appearance Insecurity
Nope. This one isn’t an issue for me. I may not look like bloody Halle Berry or Kim Kardashian, but I’m okay with I’ve got. I’m small and cute, probably more of a ‘she looks young for her age and she’s got a lovely smile, cute’, but I’m a-iiiight. I mean, I’d kill for a toned mid section like Mel B’s but its not like have to worry about having to skip dessert.

5. Bad Man Choices
Yes, I have made bad man choices in the past, but who hasn’t? For me it isn’t a case of accepting bad dates for fear of being single. It’s more a case of accepting what I think is at the time, is a good date to then discover further on down the line that it was a bad choice. The reason I’m single? Maybe.

6. Low Tiff Tolerance
This one isn’t even relevant to me. I’ve never even had a relationship with a guy that has lasted long enough to get to a tiff stage! Is it mad that I’d actually love to have the experience of arguing with a guy? Just because. Just because it would mean something. Means that we care enough to argue. Aaahhh, one day eh?

7. Ex Talk
Urrgh no. I hate this. Personally, I don’t have a ‘specific’ ex to talk of so this isn’t something I’m guilty of but I’ve been on dates where the guy speaks constantly about his ex. It’s irritating. Therefore, not something I would do.

8. Sofa Hugging
I can be guilty of this one. I love my flat, my sofa, my netbook and my TV and I ‘fess up to spending way too much quality time with Grey’s Anatomy or X Factor when I should be ‘out there’. I know I’m not going to meet my Mr Right by staying indoors, but thats okay because I’m out a lot too. I’m actually quite the social butterfly. It’s all about balance.

9. Desperation
Nope. This isn’t me. Desperation just isn’t attractive. At all. Whether you’re a man or a woman – don’t go there.

10. Relationship Resistance
They’ve got me wrong on this one too. Relationship resistance? Nah, not at all. A chance would be a fine thing.

Am I single because of any of the points listed above? I truly don’t think so. Why is anyone single when they don’t want to be? Ladies and gents, I refer you to my to stock answer whenever I’m asked that question “It’s just a case of not having met the right one yet”.


16 Responses to “Apparently, This Is Why I’m Still Single…”

  1. alternativelyme October 19, 2010 at 11:15 AM #

    Oh dear – if this list is correct I am going about it all wrong 😦 . However, I do disagree with some of their points as do some other relationship advisors. This list seems to promote points opposite to “treat em mean to keep em keen” and also, “man is the hunter”

    Ho hum – maybe thats also why I am still single. Some points did hit home though – something to think about. Great post

    • TheSingleFilez October 19, 2010 at 5:06 PM #

      Hey, thanks for reading!
      I agree with you. A few of the points made valid points, but the MSN article on the whole just didn’t feel quite right somehow x

  2. Anita October 19, 2010 at 1:09 PM #

    I find the reasons amusing. simply because I am not doing any of them yet, still single. I do see the points in case, however women like me have reason now to ask, if these are not our reasons, what are???

    • TheSingleFilez October 19, 2010 at 5:28 PM #

      A-ha, you hit the nail on the head Anita! What if those points aren’t relevant to us but we’re *still* single? What then? Who is to blame then eh? 😉

    • getmingle October 10, 2011 at 12:20 PM #

      is shyness in talking with girls a negative for men?

  3. Kelly October 20, 2010 at 11:40 PM #

    The funny thing about these lists is…who HASN’T done some of these things at some point? Just because someone is in a relationship doesn’t mean they are any better at relationships than people who aren’t. We’re all learning. And many people are in the WRONG relationships. And being single is just a current status until the next boyfriend anyway.

    • TheSingleFilez October 24, 2010 at 1:57 AM #

      This – “Just because someone is in a relationship doesn’t mean they are any better at relationships than people who aren’t. We’re all learning.” – is definitely something I need to remember.


  4. Brooke Farmer October 20, 2010 at 11:41 PM #

    I’m guilty of a few of these. DEFINITELY not making the first move. Possibily hard to get but it’s more like trying not to be the girl that’s chasing (when I’m not sure). Sofa hugging and relationship resistance- probably a bit of both but not a ton of either.

    • TheSingleFilez October 24, 2010 at 12:27 PM #

      I totally get that! I think trying not to be the girl who is chasing when not sure how the guy feels is totally sensible, and completely different to ‘playing hard to get’. Just protecting your heart, I say.

      I’m all for the protecting of the heart 😉

  5. The Hopeful Romantic October 20, 2010 at 11:58 PM #

    MSN lists *rolls eyes*…in fact all lists…if only it was as simple as that.

    I will however, fess up to loving my house and being in it A LOT.. how to rectify that?? Hmmmm.. maybe more activity that brings the entertainment to me?

    *wonders off to devise plan*

    • TheSingleFilez October 24, 2010 at 12:31 PM #

      I must admit. I love a list. Not *this* list though.

      I’m soooooo with you on the whole loving your house thing. I love being indoors! My sofa, the telly, some munchies and I’m set. It’d be lovely to have someone to get cosy with though 🙂

  6. Natalie October 25, 2010 at 11:58 AM #

    When I was single, I was guilty of some of these things (not many), like sofa hugging and most definitely bad man choices. In fact, I’d say dodgy choices were my key reason for either being single or being in a relationship and pissed off. Some people are single just because. It’s not a bad thing and I think that articles like the MSN one promote the idea that single is the bad time you pass between relationships.

    That said, the great majority of people I come across through my site who are single and/or struggling, it’s dodgy love choices, funny love habits that they don’t even realise can cause problems, and for some, inadvertent commitment issues that they don’t realise they have.

    I say embrace being single, enjoy it and get to know you. If you are doing stuff that gets in the way of a relationship and you want one, you can work on that. But there is nothing wrong with enjoying your home and your own space!

    • TheSingleFilez October 25, 2010 at 8:23 PM #

      Hey Natalie,

      Thanks so much for commenting. I can 100% confirm that I’ve fully embraced being single. In fact, I’ve had no choice because I’ve never been in a long term relationship – I’ve been single all of my life!

      My frequent flyer miles are testimony to the fact that I am indeed making the most of my singledom while I can, because hopefully, I won’t be alone forever.

  7. Brooklyn HoneyB October 30, 2010 at 4:46 PM #

    Hola! another great post and read for me yet again inspiring for me *thumps up*. I am in agreement with you and the young lady Anita. I am definitely #8 and I am definitely the social butterfly. Okay #1 might hinder me a bit b/c my male friends have brain washed me to believe that if a woman approaches a man not much can come from it, turn out of the relationship is forced upon the man. The man decides on the woman he feels is “THE RIGHT ONE” when he approaches the woman then its real and genuine.

    Yeah why am I friends with these knuckle heads???

    • TheSingleFilez October 31, 2010 at 3:22 PM #

      Hey Miss Brooklyn,

      Thanks for commenting. From what I’ve heard, sometimes guys are just shy. So I don’t think that its a case that if a woman approaches first that not much can come of it…

      For me personally, its nothing more than the fact that I’m too shy. I don’t have the confidence to do make eye contact, flirt with and approach guys. If I did though, I do it all the time. I think a shy guy would appreciate it!


  8. Something She Dated November 5, 2010 at 4:27 PM #

    hmm…MSN lost my respect at “to blame” for being single. 😉

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