My Dating Future

8 Oct

I’m currently on day four of my 10 Day Test. Out of the four messages I’ve sent, I’ve received only one reply so far. The reply was from the very same 38 year old I mentioned previously, yes the very same one whose profile said he was only interested in women between the ages 24 to 32 years. (Well, I am only 33… and I look 25, it was worth a try, no?) Anyway, his response…

Hello XXX
Thanks for your message and for noticing me. I’m not sure we’d be suited to one another but I would like to wish you good luck in your search.

Ha bloody ha! I couldn’t believe it! Okay, so maybe at 33 I really was waaaaay too old for him to consider. Or maybe it was as simple as the fact that, for whatever reason, I wasn’t his cup of tea. Whatever the reason was, at least he took the time to respond. That’s more than what the other guys have done.

If it wasn’t for this blog I probably wouldn’t be chucking myself back into the world of online dating with such vigour so soon after the disappointment that was Older Guy. As if constantly being rejected by guys judging me from behind a computer screen wasn’t bad enough, knowing that whenever I do find someone who wants to date me (and who I want to date too, of course) eight times out of ten – the first date will suck. It’s quite disheartening/boring/annoying. I know this because of my horrendous ‘Dating Past’, but at the same time, a small part of me is wishing/pleading/hoping that this will change in my ‘Dating Future’…

What I Hope To See In My Dating Future

Looking a little awkward there. First date by any chance?

I hope they actually make the effort to meet up
Remember Fit Irish Guy? Remember the attempts I made to meet up with him? The lack of effort on his part was astounding. Twice he let me down at the very last minute, and he had the cheek to try and arrange a third date too? I don’t think so mate.
See: Two Strikes, You’re Out

I hope they let me choose my own drink and treat me to my own bag of chips
Mr Pay As You Go may just have been one of my worst (read: cheapest) dating experiences EVER. He told me he couldn’t call me because he had no credit on his PAYG mobile phone, he had a ‘lets just buy a bottle of rose wine because its cheaper than buying two separate drinks’ philosophy and his idea of Friday night dinner date was sharing a bag of chips at the local kebab shop. Hmmph.
See: Am I The Queen Of Bad Dates?

I hope they are who they say they are
I dated this guy approx five times before he disappeared off the face of the earth. I liked him too. At the time I worried he’d been a car crash or maybe he was in hospital, I mean how else could I explain why one minute we had been sucking face with him telling me how much he was looking forward to seeing me again and the next, absolutely nothing? I tell you how I explain it – he wasn’t who he said he was. His name, his job, even his nationality – all a big fat lie.
See: Just My Luck

I hope they don’t leave me alone in the bar at the end of the night
The worst date I’ve EVER had. Pussy Boy got so embarrassed that I called him out after his comment comparing his man-parts to those of a black man, that he went for a cigarette and never came back. Left me alone in a bar on a busy Friday night he did. I didn’t think I’d recover from the shame. Now, I just laugh at how much of a dick-insecure idiot he obviously was!
See: No ‘Penis Size’ Talk On The First Date Please

When/if I land dates from, with a Dating Past like that, it can’t get any worse. Or can it?

Here’s to my Dating Future! May you be….. much better.


16 Responses to “My Dating Future”

  1. City Girl October 8, 2010 at 11:35 AM #

    Wow you’ve had some bad luck. I will read about your dates later today when I have a quiet hour.

    I took you up on your suggestion of POF. I’ve been on for a week and have date 1 lined up. After receiving nothing but crap from hideous men, finally I got a message from a normal person. We’re meeting up on Saturday. After reading about your disasters, I’m not getting my hopes up but a girl has to start somewhere!

    LCG xxx

    • TheSingleFilez October 9, 2010 at 11:39 AM #

      Yes hun, bad luck indeed. Looking back over all of that, its a wonder I’m still continuing to date!

      Good luck with your POF date. Out of the ones I mentioned in this post, only one of them WASN’T from POF. But don’t let that put you off, your experience maybe completely different to mine.

      Let me know how it goes x

  2. Sparky October 8, 2010 at 12:37 PM #

    I feel you’re pain, out of about 10/12 dates, only 2 of them were worth seeing again and both of them faded away after about 4/5 dates (both were really keen or so I thought too) … I now dread first dates!! Oh the joys of being single in London … !!

    • TheSingleFilez October 9, 2010 at 11:37 AM #

      It gets all so ‘meh’ after a while doesn’t it? Oh so depressing and oh so disheartening. P.S. I didn’t realise you were in London too!

      • Sparky October 11, 2010 at 3:37 PM #

        Yes indeed I’m in London too … so I’ve an even more special interest in how you get on dating here!!

  3. Something She Dated October 10, 2010 at 1:12 AM #

    Aww I’m actually a bit saddened to hear you describe dating as “depressing” and “disheartening”. I mean. Not that I don’t understand. For the love of Good Coffee, we know I do. And I know it might asking a bit much for everyone to view being single like how I do (most recent post)…but still…there’s a silver lining in it I swear. Just think. If it wasn’t for shitty dates….
    You’d probably never have started this blog.
    If it wasn’t for this blog….
    You wouldn’t have come in contact with my blog.
    If it wasn’t for my blog….
    We’d never have camaraderie, mutual support, a sounding board, someone to visit when you decide on the spur of a moment to take a trip to vancouver, etc. Just Sayin’.

    Shitty dates have done a lot for us 😛

    • TheSingleFilez October 10, 2010 at 11:43 PM #

      Everytime I tried to respond to this comment, I found myself writing an essay. I think I should just put it in a blog post?

      I agree, the silver lining is awesome. And yes, I will knock on your door to say Hi if I’m ever in Vancouver. I appreciate you!

  4. Andy October 29, 2010 at 5:52 PM #


    Your experiences made me smile, partly because they were well told, but also because it struck me that I could come up with a similar list of things concerning women I hope to meet in my dating future – believe me, online dating is no more fun for a (normal) man.

    Though I’m glad to say that I’ve yet to experience the chips or the being-left-alone scenarios.

    Don’t lose faith – some of us are regular, honest, stand-up (as I believe our American cousins would have it) guys. Now, if only I could figure out how to meet how to meet the female equivalent…

    • TheSingleFilez October 29, 2010 at 11:51 PM #

      Hey Andy,

      Thanks for stopping by. It’s always nice to hear things from a male point of view.

      It’s not easy to keep the faith but I do try my best to remain positive. The crazy thing is, my dates seem to have gotten a whole lot worse since I started blogging about them – great for entertaining blog content, not so great for my lack of love life.

      I will keep at it though. You do the same too…
      Good luck!

      • Andy October 30, 2010 at 11:32 AM #


        Do you think that your dates have got worse because you’re now, subconsciously or otherwise, looking for the faults?

        After far too long subjecting myself to online dating, I sometimes feel like I’ve become a mystery shopper. Ho hum.

        I was just about to invite you to have a look at my profile on POF but stopped myself when I realised that I risk becoming Older Guy #2. Though without the lack of affection. And shyness.

        • TheSingleFilez October 31, 2010 at 3:34 PM #

          Haha! How funny would it be (or not, as the case may be) to discover that we had already spoken on POF or even worse, if we had already ignored eachother on POF?

          I think it’d be best to leave that one alone for fear of any awkwardness. Also, I like to keep my personal identity separate to that of The Single Filez 🙂

          • Andy October 31, 2010 at 5:02 PM #

            Completely understand you keeping your identity separate – going public would somewhat undermine your work on here!

            And yes, it would be amusing (or, indeed, awkward) if our paths had crossed on POF. Talking of which, I had my first date from there on Friday night. She turned up with no money.

            I’ve had a few dates where the woman has had no intention of contributing, but to have no ability to contribute was certainly a first.

            Does that trump your chips experience, do you think?

            • TheSingleFilez November 2, 2010 at 10:22 AM #

              Oh dear. Doesn’t sound like a great first date, at all!

              I’m afraid it doesn’t quite trump my chips experience though. Don’t forget, not only did I share half a bag of chips for my Friday night dinner but I also drank wine (when I wanted rum) because “it was cheaper to buy a bottle of the same thing” AND I had to put up with him going to Tesco, buying a bottle of wine and then drinking from it while we were walking down the street.

              I win!

              • Andy November 2, 2010 at 5:34 PM #

                Haha! You do indeed win!

                [Tips his hat and bows in deference to the current champion of bad dates]

                I’m curious, though: you, and a number of commenters on here, refer to the quantity of neanderthal messages you get from guys on POF (and elsewhere, I think) in a way that suggests you would quietly celebrate if you received a coherent and courteous commnuication.

                My messages are always articulate and polite, and I try to pick up on something the woman has written in her profile and, if possible, be witty.

                Yet I get precious few replies.

                What am I doing wrong, Dr SingleFilez?!?!?

            • Something She Dated November 2, 2010 at 6:12 PM #

              Sorry to interrupt kids…but I felt I couldn’t just let this situation pass by un…commented on.

              Andy Andy Andy. You didn’t pay? Okay well obviously you did (since she had no money) but you even let the situation come to the point where there was even an option of her paying? *shakes head* no no no my friend.

              In the words of the most awesome Aaron Karo
              “”When the check comes, there should be absolutely no debate: I’m paying. Ladies, any guy who doesn’t pay for you is fucking worthless. Any guy who offers to split the check should hand in his man badge and have his testicles confiscated at the door: he’s done. If we make it a few more dates, personally I appreciate when the girl does the fake, reaching-for-her-purse move. I’m still paying, but I respect the fact that she is playing along. A few more dates and yes, I will let the girl pay. But, only if she insists”

              And though he goes on to say the gist of what I’m about to say…I say it better 😛 so I’m using my words.

              The thing is…unless this chick was in jogging pants and freshfaced (okay no makeup, product free hair, etc)…next time you think about expecting a women to pay, to split, or to even make the reach on a first date…remember this…

              She probably uses at least 3 hair products (I use a diabolical potion of 7-8 that keep my curly hair soft, supple, and yet in place…and if she straightens…she’s probably using a salon bought heat protecting product…not to mention having to buy a $150 hair straigtener.

              Her makeup alone probably costs on average $100-$150 every 2-3 months (much more if she’s ‘glossy’ like me). Assuming she’s awesome like me 😛 (I’m trying to ease this lecture with humor for reference)…she’ll be whitening away the massive amounts of coffee she has to drink to get through Uni and that shits expensive…

              She probably tints her brows…gets them waxed…then there’s the pedicure…manicure…(lady bit waxing)…perfumes and lotions

              Not to mention the new outfit (incuding bra and panties) and possibly $400 shoes…she splurged on for the date…ya know…because she likes you so much…

              Not to mention all the bloody time it took to get all that shit ripped off, whitened, tinted, straightened or curled, worked off at the gym, etc.

              So Andy…afterall that…don’t you think she deserves a starbucks latte? or a bottle of wine? or even a full on steak and crab dinner…this woman who did all this for you?

              Sidebar: Obvs it’s possibly this chick you went on a date with did none of this…but you get the drift…this is a standard…chicks in general type thing…


  1. This is commitment for you… « Diary of Tarot Reader - January 11, 2011

    […] reading in blank and white. Nikki offered me the chance to have my tarot cards read to see what my dating future would have in store for me. What an opportunity! I’d never thought much about tarot readings […]

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