Back In The Dating Game

26 Jul

The Dating Game...

It’s been a while since I’ve done a dating update. I guess the combination of being ditched by Pussy Boy, being totally underwhelmed by teenager in a 30 year old’s body Mr PAYG and then the slightly too intense Italian Guy back in May. Followed by my failed attempts to meet up with Fit Irish Guy in early June was enough to put me off dating for a little while. I became disheartened by the calibre of men I was meeting (i.e. they all sucked!) so felt, that since I had a trip coming up that it would make sense for me to take a date break to allow me to come back feeling fresh, raring to go and ready to date again.

Who Is He?
‘The Business Man’ is a guy I’ve been exchanging messages with on POF for about a week before we decided to meet up. He’s 32 years old and like me, he’s not originally a Londoner but has been living here for many years. The Business Man gets his name because duh, duh, duuuh…. he owns his own business. He seems to be doing well but poor thing, it’s left him too busy to date, too busy for fun generally by the sounds of things.

First impressions before meeting him were all positive. Good flowing conversation on POF, a couple of phonecalls plus he initiated a good amount of ‘Hey, how was your day?’ text message conversations in the lead up to the date. He seemed keen, and guess what? I didn’t mind one little bit.

*Sidenote: Isn’t it strange how when we’re not sure about a guy, exchanging lots of text messages before meeting up can seem way too eager and kinda sorta creepy? But yet, when we’re feeling the dude, it can feel absolutely fine, normal even. Funny that.

The Positives
– He looked cute.
– Although his spelling/grammar wasn’t great (sorry, an online dating pet peeve of mine), he had a sense of humour about it. In brackets at the end of his first message to me “Look, all of my capitals in the right place. Just for you”. Cute!
– Sounded nice and was easy to talk to on the phone.
– Um. Did I mention he was kinda cute?

The Negatives
– Messed me around a bit sorting out the date (which turned into a positive when he moved work-related things around so that he was able to see me).
– His spelling made me cringe a little, especially when he spelt Leicester as “Lesta”…

The Date
As you can see, I was *really struggling* to find ‘before date negatives’ for this particular update because to be honest, there really wasn’t anything that bad. I guess that’s the reason why I was actually looking forward to this date – he seemed promising, and normal.

He looked like his pics, shorter than his profile indicated but he had lovely muscular arms (a weakness of mine) which his profile hadn’t indicated. He was a nice looking guy. Not in a ‘phwoar’ kinda way, but in a ‘he’s actually quite cute kinda’ way.

Within the first 30 minutes of the date he complained about a leg injury, a shoulder injury and his allergies. I found out he doesn’t drink alcohol (yes, you read right. He DOESN’T. DRINK. ALCOHOL.) he only eats Halal meat and he doesn’t like hot weather. In mind head I was thinking “Sweet Jesus, get me outta here NOW!” but then I stopped and made myself think about the ‘Mr Good Enough’ theory. I had to literally tell myself, “C’mon now, stop looking at every little superficial thing as a reason to write him off. You picky cow.”

I’m glad I stuck it out, he turned out to be OK. He was pleasant, I found his background really interesting although I probably scared him half to death with all of my questions about his family once I found out they came from the African country of Malawi but his Dad was Indian and his Mum was half black/half Indian. Fascinating, right? I learnt loads about the history of Malawi. Both cute AND educational. Bonus.

Errr.... how about putting that phone away?

Overall, it was a strange date. He spent a lot of time on his phone – work stuff? He thought we were only meeting for a quick coffee while I had been thinking we were meeting for Friday evening (alcoholic) drinks. I was the one who suggested staying out and the idea to go get something to eat, came from me. I don’t know quite how to evaluate this one. Yes, he did offer to give me a lift (in his very fancy car) to the train station but other than that, I didn’t come away from the evening with any indication that he was interested in me. There was no mention of another date, no mention of giving me a call. Nothing. I text him to let him know I was home safe and to thank him for a lovely evening, all I got back from him was “Oh that’s good, didn’t take you long to get home”. Reckon I’m going to write this one off as a no-go methinks. Good thing I have a date with a different guy lined up for this Thursday eh?



13 Responses to “Back In The Dating Game”

  1. Wendi B July 26, 2010 at 4:50 PM #

    I swear you’re me!! Lol. I had a date on Thurs from the same website and it wasn’t completely unlike yours, except he did drink alcohol, and he gave me a lift home. Convo was cool but afterwards I just couldn’t read whether he was interested or not, and the fact that I haven’t heard from him since is probably all the answer I need!

    PS: Muscular arms are a humungous weakness of mine!!

    • TheSingleFilez July 27, 2010 at 9:41 AM #

      Men are such cowards! I hate it when they go all quiet and disappear instead of letting us know (in a nice way, of course) that they aren’t interested in pursuing anything.

      *High-five on the muscular arms!

  2. dstnhope27 July 26, 2010 at 10:43 PM #

    I have the opposite problem… I don’t drink and it seems like every man I meet wants to go out every weekend!

  3. Dragonessa Fiore July 27, 2010 at 1:03 AM #

    Im on POF too and so far batting 0 for 3. Im sorry but yeah, a guy who doesnt drink at all would be very hard for me. Im not a lush or anything, but my future husband is not going to make our wedding toast with sparkling cider. Nope.

    More than that though, yeah he did seem flippant after you texted him. Who cares if you shoulnt do that after a date lol! If he was interested, that surly wouldnt have been a dealbreaker.

    I have to say…just like how it was a struggle for him to find time to meet you for what he was hoping would just be a quick drink, thats pretty much an indication of what its like to be in a relationship with him…waiting to be penciled in. Eventually.

    My ex bfs mantra was “thank you for being so patient!” and up til the end really felt that after 2yrs, seeing me once a week was a lot, cause his schedule was just way too packed to spend much more time with me than that. I was more lonely with him than I am now that Im single!

    Soooo no worries, you may have just missed the bullet without realizing it! NEXT indeed!!

    • TheSingleFilez July 27, 2010 at 8:33 PM #

      Well, I’m not saying I’m a lush either…. but, I am saying I do like a nice glass of wine when I go out for dinner and I love going for after-work drinks with the girlies after a long week and oooh, can’t beat rum cocktails on holiday in the Caribbean. Jeez, who am I kidding? I’m blatantly a half-lush!

      As for the busy ‘business-owning boyfs’ yep, I imagine it would be hard. Not really want I would want to sign myself up for so once again, its “onto the next one”!


      • Dragonessa Fiore July 28, 2010 at 5:50 PM #

        If that makes you a half lush, then Im the other half.. LoL! =D

  4. Sparky July 27, 2010 at 3:05 PM #

    Thats the problem with online dating, so many of these guys are too busy to date so they do it online, only when you meet them its virtually impossible to see them. I met a guy 2 months ago and going on a 3rd date next week, I mean come on!!

    • TheSingleFilez July 27, 2010 at 7:46 PM #

      Wow. That’s CRAZY. Good for you for still hanging on in there though. The first two dates must’ve been pretty damn good!

      • Sparky July 28, 2010 at 11:48 AM #

        to be honest there’s another guy I like more but hedging my bets a bit, but he’s nearly as bad, 2 dates in 3 weeks … I suppose not as bad!

  5. Skye Blue July 27, 2010 at 11:30 PM #

    boo for ‘blah’ dates and men too busy to put their phone down when they are on them.

    hooray for you being back in the game.

    wishing you better luck this time around.

    • TheSingleFilez July 28, 2010 at 11:32 AM #

      Booooooooooo indeed!
      Thanks for the best wishes sweets. Fingers crossed eh?

  6. Solo @ 30 July 28, 2010 at 6:13 PM #

    Glad you’re back in the game. I dated and lived with a guy who owned his own business for over 3 years–life was a rollercoaster for the both of us. You might have been spared by this lackluster date. Seriously.

    Hope your next date is a lot more fun and promising!

    • TheSingleFilez July 28, 2010 at 11:15 PM #

      Thanks sweetheart. I’m still determined, not ready to thrown in the towel just yet. Here’s hoping the next one is a good ‘un!

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