The Jury’s Still Out…

14 May

It’s date night tonight. I’m going out with Mr PAYG for the second time in less than a week, but what exactly does this mean?

Hmmm… what to do?

Considering there was a whole lot of chemistry there, enough for him to invite me out again before we’d even gotten home from the first date its quite strange that I still have reservations. Even though I enjoyed his company I’d already decided after the one date that he wasn’t what I would consider boyfriend material. Hasty? Yeah, maybe. But let me try and explain why I feel this way…

The ‘Hang out’ option – He only checked the ‘hang out’ option on POF rather than the ‘dating’ or ‘long term’ options. I’m very much aware that he isn’t looking for the same thing that I am.
His many other POF dates – He talked endlessly about the other women he’s met via POF. Funny stories and anecdotes, granted. But still, there’s nothing impressive about feeling you’re just one of many.
The back-handed compliments – I don’t think he meant anything by it but telling me that because I’m ‘dainty’, ‘pretty’ and am wearing a long weave, I’m the type of black girl that a white guy would like. He even compared me to a Barbie. WTF! He did it all in a joke-y way so as to not cause offence but you know what us women are like, we don’t forget ‘jokes’ like that.
Living at home with his Mum – I need to find out all of the details. Please don’t get me wrong, it’s not so much that he’s at home now, its more that he made it sound as though he’s NEVER lived away from home before. Considering he’s 30 years old, I find that worrying!
The unexpected make-out session – I’m not complaining because it was all good, (hell yeah it was good) but at the same time, at the back of my mind he was a bit MUCH with it. *No, your hand really doesn’t belong there mate*. The fact that he was trying to put his hand down my bra on the first date, in a bar, once again tells me that he isn’t looking for the same thing that I am.

I honestly had a really good time with him and the points I raised above didn’t get in the way of that. They’re merely things that I took note of and that are stuck at the back of my mind. I plan to have a good time tonight and I’m looking forward to the drinks and laughter but at the same time, I don’t know if there is much point in a third date?

He may end up surprising me but for now I’m thinking either I go with the flow knowing that it will probably be nothing more than someone to have sex with or, I just stop it after tonight and continue lining up other dates. Come to think of it, I got a text message from the 25 year old the other night…


5 Responses to “The Jury’s Still Out…”

  1. Laydee_TT May 14, 2010 at 4:42 PM #

    Whoah he sounds a bit fresh…for a grown ass man, some of them actions cannot be overlooked. That said – as you enjoyed his company and had such fun on the last date – I think you should go tonight with a view to let your hair down and have some flirtatious convo with a hottie! Don’t have any expectations and just go with the flow. Maybe – that’s if you decide on any – after a few more dates you’re still feeling it’s not a relationship you see going anywhere or that his agenda is completely different to yours (longterm) then #ontothenextone

    • TheSingleFilez May 14, 2010 at 5:26 PM #

      I hear you, you are SO right! I’m just going to go let my hair down, have a bit of flirty conversation, let go of any expectations and just go with the flow. I just remembered that when I spoke with a dating expert a couple of months ago, she told me to take it easy and have fun with it. No stress! Thanks for commenting hun x

  2. singlegirlie May 15, 2010 at 1:54 AM #

    Girl, I have been there on more than one occasion. Lots of chemistry but a few red flags. And too early to bring up “where this is going.” Just file these in the back of your head and have fun tonight, as Laydee_TT says. Remember, being wise is good, overthinking is BAD! xx

    • TheSingleFilez May 15, 2010 at 1:31 PM #

      Yep, I went on the date thinking ‘just have fun, stop thinking about it’ and it turned out to be worse than the first date. Ah well, it’s all about the experience eh?


  1. Am I The Queen of Bad Dates? « The Single Filez - May 17, 2010

    […] Contact Me… The Jury’s Still Out… […]

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