No ‘Penis Size’ Talk On The First Date Please…

10 May


Date Night - I had TWO this weekend!

Things have moved along considerably since last week, that’s for sure! Can you believe I had two dates this weekend? How’s that for progression eh? For now though, lets concentrate on the first one.

Who Is He?
Let’s call him “B” shall we? B is 27 years old (I told you before, younger guys are drawn to me like a moth to a flame) and he winked at me on a couple of weekends ago. I checked out his profile and liked what I saw and read. Looks wise he’s almost like a younger, slimmer, green-eyed version of Kevin Federline. (Ssh now, you know at one point you thought K-Fed was kinda hot too!)

The Positives
– He had a great profile; well written, interesting, honest and really just quite sweet.
– He initiated contact via messages on DD and didn’t beat around the bush, inviting me out for a drink the very first day of talking.
– When he actually called me, it was out of the blue. Nice touch. None of the nerves, anticipation and staring at the phone that’s usually involved when “I’m going to call you at xxpm” is said.
– The phone call lasted for approx 45 mins, no awkward pauses, lots of laughter and common interests found.
– Sent me a text within five minutes of our first conversation to say he enjoyed speaking to me. (Nice follow-up tactic).
– Text me the next day to say he just thought of me and he hoped I was having a nice day (at this point a tiny red flag popped up, but I’m still trying to be nice here).

The Negatives
– The random ‘thinking about you’, ‘hope you’re having a nice day’, ‘just wanted to say hi’ texts started to annoy me after, about the second day – Dude, we’ve only spoken once and we haven’t even met yet!
– He called me whilst I was at The Back-Up Plan screening even though I had told him in the previous nights conversation that I was going to be busy – Bug-a-boo alert!
– Referred to me as ‘honey’ and ‘baby’ in text messages. Please note there is nothing wrong with this, once you’ve already met and you’re dating someone at least. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an affectionate person, I am. I naturally call my friends ‘hun’, ‘love’, ‘sweets’ etc BUT BABY? That’s so much more personal and intimate. He doesn’t know me ‘like that’!
– On date day, I text asking for his surname (Ladies, ALWAYS give a friend the details of your date. Safety first at all times!) and in his reply he asked for mine, Which when he received he text back saying “Lol, they go well together!”. Cue the first ‘WTF? face’ of Date Day.

The Date
So bear in mind that thanks to the minus points above, I was already feeling more than a bit apprehensive about going on this date. However, I convinced myself to suck it up and get on with it because a). It was something to do on a Friday night. b). He might not be so annoying in person c). It’s something to write about!

So, apart from bumping into an old flame and the horrible disapproving stares of every single black guy in the bar, the date actually got off to an OK start. B was on time and he looked nice, he’d obviously made an effort to look smart. However, once we sat down and started talking it confirmed what I had already been thinking in the lead up to the date – this guy wasn’t for me.

However, he made it very clear from the get-go that he was interested in me “you’re beautiful”, “what’s the catch, you seem too good to be true”, “you’re such a hottie” and he also said the corniest thing ever – when telling him how much I love Twitter he actually had the audacity to say “If I was Twitter, would you fall on your knees for me?” Cue the second ‘WTF face’ of Date Day. Dude is seriously strange.

Inevitably the conversation got around to him asking if I’d dated a white guy before. I was honest and said there had been a couple of dates back in 2001 and 2005 but never anything serious. After a bit of talking about interracial dating he decided to bring up possibly the most stupid subject a white guy on a date with a black woman could bring up – the size of a black man’s penis! No, seriously. He actually took it ‘there’. This is what he said to me –

“Obviously black men are known for ‘certain assets’ and I can’t speak for all white guys but, there’s nothing to worry about in that department when it comes to me.”

Cue yet another ‘WTF face’ from me! Where the hell did that come from? How on earth was that even a suitable thing to say? Whether I’m on a date with a black, white, asian, green or purple man – is this really suitable first date conversation?


Huh? WTF did you just say?


I let him know I felt his comment was totally inappropriate and he obviously took this badly because he said he was going to the toilet and then outside for a cigarette but get this, HE DIDN’T COME BACK!! There I was sat alone in the bar nursing my rum and ginger beer, his half-finished drink across the table from me, messaging my friend on my BlackBerry whilst I thought he was in the loo and I get the following text message –

“Hi, I went to my car to get some cigs and am deciding to go home. It was really nice meeting you but I should have never brought that topic up and feel too uncomfortable to come back. You are a lovely girl and I hope you meet someone just as special! Take care x”

Feel free to join me and make your own ‘WTF face’ at this one. Yes my dears, he went home and left me in the bar on my lonesome on a busy Friday night because he was “too uncomfortable to come back”. Can you believe that shit? Is this guy not the biggest PUSSY ever? My first date of 2010 was the worst date I’ve EVER had! I felt so-oo embarrassed that I sat in the bar for a further 20mins gathering up the courage to get up and walk out alone. However, I refuse to let this put me off of dating white guys OR dating younger guys. I’ve said it before  and I’ll say it again – ON TO THE NEXT ONE!


(Date Night Pic: 20th Century Fox)

19 Responses to “No ‘Penis Size’ Talk On The First Date Please…”

  1. Interracial Love Magazine May 10, 2010 at 2:46 PM #

    I get a lot of feedback from relatives and co-workers about these “bug-a-boo” type of guys. The ones who e-mail, call, and text constantly through the day… Even when I know the guy, and warn him about being annoying, he persists. They just can’t help themselves! They’re their own worst enemy in a relationship.

    These type of guys think they have the job before even going to the interview. LOL

    I have dated hundreds of black women over the years and whether they dated white men or the dick size of their last boyfriend never came up in conversation.

    As a service to white guys, I came up with this: “Excuse Me, Do You Date White Guys?”

    Many guys throw all their energy/intensity into the first 24-48 hours of your interaction, typically until they get what they’re striving for.

    He did you a favor.

    Interesting article!

    Your good friends at
    Interracial Love Magazine

    • TheSingleFilez May 10, 2010 at 11:07 PM #

      Yes, taking into consideration everything that happened in the lead up to the date, I have to agree with you – he did do me a favour. He saved me from wasting another minute of my time! Thanks for the comment 😉

  2. delightfuleccentric May 11, 2010 at 12:49 AM #

    I don’t think there’s enough “WOW” to fully express my thoughts.

    I had this guy mention penis size on our first or second date. I’m sure he’s not the only one, but this was memorable. We had known each other for a while, so this wasn’t like an online dating first date, so it wasn’t all THAT weird. Anyway, he mentioned several times that he was well-endowed, even made a joke about having to have a reduction. Lo and behold, he was TINY. I think he was on steroids, which explains a lot. But why in the world would he even say ANYTHING if he was so small?!

    As my friend said to me, “NEXT!”

    • TheSingleFilez May 11, 2010 at 12:37 PM #

      Oh dear, isn’t that just silly. Why would he do that? Just building himself up for a great big fall. Didn’t do himself any favours at all. Poor thing!

  3. Skye Blue June 29, 2010 at 1:24 AM #

    Okay. This story is among the worst dating stories I have ever read online. The dick talk didn’t phase me (I’ve been asked if I swallow on a first date, so that shit is old hat), but I was at a loss for words when I read…

    “Hi, I went to my car to get some cigs and am deciding to go home. It was really nice meeting you but I should have never brought that topic up and feel too uncomfortable to come back. You are a lovely girl and I hope you meet someone just as special! Take care x”

    Un-f’in-believable. Droppin’ bombs about his dick being up to snuff on a first meeting, then running away after he’s called on it. SMH.

    PUSSY is too good of a moniker for him – he’s too soft to be in the league of any chick’s cookie. SPINELESS WIMP is more like it.

    • TheSingleFilez June 29, 2010 at 2:08 PM #

      Hey Skye, thanks for reading.

      Being asked if you swallow on the first date? That guy sounds pretty, umm ‘special’.

      I’m speechless!

  4. Wendi B July 9, 2010 at 3:09 PM #

    Oh. My. Goodness….. Wow.

  5. Ella Munro September 17, 2010 at 8:27 PM #

    A guy once asked me if I was wearing any underwear on a first date. I told him it was inappropriate just as you did and guess what that’s when he lost interest and said he was tired and wanted to go home…. I cannot believe the bloody cheek of some guys. Not cool!

    • TheSingleFilez September 18, 2010 at 1:25 PM #

      Not cool at all. Men these days, I tell ya!

      Thanks for reading/commenting 🙂

  6. Charlene Odetola December 24, 2010 at 2:46 AM #

    A WTF moment indeed!

  7. The Hopeful Romantic December 30, 2010 at 3:10 PM #

    Oh. My. Goodness. How did i manage to miss this post. This is just…I have nothing. No words. Wow! You dodged a bullet here. You really , really did!

    • TheSingleFilez December 30, 2010 at 7:26 PM #

      I was mortified at the time but now, the whole thing just makes me laugh. What an absolute idiot eh?

  8. Skinny Dip January 2, 2011 at 8:16 PM #

    Oh man. I’m glad I read this one. This dude sounds ridiculous! I think he’s probably “single for a reason” – namely that he runs out on his dates! What a weirdo.

    Talking about your penis on a first date is a total turn-off. As are guys (of any race) who use lines like, “Once you go Asian/Black/White/Latin you never go back!” to boast about why you should date them. NEXT!!

    • TheSingleFilez January 4, 2011 at 9:05 PM #

      Yup. After being mortified, and then disgusted, and then amused. The first thing I said was “NEXT!”

  9. Brooke Farmer January 3, 2011 at 11:48 PM #

    Holy fucking shit wow.

    I can’t think of anything else to say.

  10. Roxanne September 2, 2011 at 12:23 AM #

    WTF??? He went THERE? And then went HOME? WTF? I am speechless.

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