Things have moved along considerably since last week, that’s for sure! Can you believe I had two dates this weekend? How’s that for progression eh? For now though, lets concentrate on the first one.
Who Is He?
Let’s call him “B” shall we? B is 27 years old (I told you before, younger guys are drawn to me like a moth to a flame) and he winked at me on DatingDirect.com a couple of weekends ago. I checked out his profile and liked what I saw and read. Looks wise he’s almost like a younger, slimmer, green-eyed version of Kevin Federline. (Ssh now, you know at one point you thought K-Fed was kinda hot too!)
– He had a great profile; well written, interesting, honest and really just quite sweet.
– He initiated contact via messages on DD and didn’t beat around the bush, inviting me out for a drink the very first day of talking.
– When he actually called me, it was out of the blue. Nice touch. None of the nerves, anticipation and staring at the phone that’s usually involved when “I’m going to call you at xxpm” is said.
– The phone call lasted for approx 45 mins, no awkward pauses, lots of laughter and common interests found.
– Sent me a text within five minutes of our first conversation to say he enjoyed speaking to me. (Nice follow-up tactic).
– Text me the next day to say he just thought of me and he hoped I was having a nice day (at this point a tiny red flag popped up, but I’m still trying to be nice here).
– The random ‘thinking about you’, ‘hope you’re having a nice day’, ‘just wanted to say hi’ texts started to annoy me after, about the second day – Dude, we’ve only spoken once and we haven’t even met yet!
– He called me whilst I was at The Back-Up Plan screening even though I had told him in the previous nights conversation that I was going to be busy – Bug-a-boo alert!
– Referred to me as ‘honey’ and ‘baby’ in text messages. Please note there is nothing wrong with this, once you’ve already met and you’re dating someone at least. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an affectionate person, I am. I naturally call my friends ‘hun’, ‘love’, ‘sweets’ etc BUT BABY? That’s so much more personal and intimate. He doesn’t know me ‘like that’!
– On date day, I text asking for his surname (Ladies, ALWAYS give a friend the details of your date. Safety first at all times!) and in his reply he asked for mine, Which when he received he text back saying “Lol, they go well together!”. Cue the first ‘WTF? face’ of Date Day.
So bear in mind that thanks to the minus points above, I was already feeling more than a bit apprehensive about going on this date. However, I convinced myself to suck it up and get on with it because a). It was something to do on a Friday night. b). He might not be so annoying in person c). It’s something to write about!
So, apart from bumping into an old flame and the horrible disapproving stares of every single black guy in the bar, the date actually got off to an OK start. B was on time and he looked nice, he’d obviously made an effort to look smart. However, once we sat down and started talking it confirmed what I had already been thinking in the lead up to the date – this guy wasn’t for me.
However, he made it very clear from the get-go that he was interested in me “you’re beautiful”, “what’s the catch, you seem too good to be true”, “you’re such a hottie” and he also said the corniest thing ever – when telling him how much I love Twitter he actually had the audacity to say “If I was Twitter, would you fall on your knees for me?” Cue the second ‘WTF face’ of Date Day. Dude is seriously strange.
Inevitably the conversation got around to him asking if I’d dated a white guy before. I was honest and said there had been a couple of dates back in 2001 and 2005 but never anything serious. After a bit of talking about interracial dating he decided to bring up possibly the most stupid subject a white guy on a date with a black woman could bring up – the size of a black man’s penis! No, seriously. He actually took it ‘there’. This is what he said to me –
“Obviously black men are known for ‘certain assets’ and I can’t speak for all white guys but, there’s nothing to worry about in that department when it comes to me.”
Cue yet another ‘WTF face’ from me! Where the hell did that come from? How on earth was that even a suitable thing to say? Whether I’m on a date with a black, white, asian, green or purple man – is this really suitable first date conversation?
I let him know I felt his comment was totally inappropriate and he obviously took this badly because he said he was going to the toilet and then outside for a cigarette but get this, HE DIDN’T COME BACK!! There I was sat alone in the bar nursing my rum and ginger beer, his half-finished drink across the table from me, messaging my friend on my BlackBerry whilst I thought he was in the loo and I get the following text message –
“Hi, I went to my car to get some cigs and am deciding to go home. It was really nice meeting you but I should have never brought that topic up and feel too uncomfortable to come back. You are a lovely girl and I hope you meet someone just as special! Take care x”
Feel free to join me and make your own ‘WTF face’ at this one. Yes my dears, he went home and left me in the bar on my lonesome on a busy Friday night because he was “too uncomfortable to come back”. Can you believe that shit? Is this guy not the biggest PUSSY ever? My first date of 2010 was the worst date I’ve EVER had! I felt so-oo embarrassed that I sat in the bar for a further 20mins gathering up the courage to get up and walk out alone. However, I refuse to let this put me off of dating white guys OR dating younger guys. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – ON TO THE NEXT ONE!
(Date Night Pic: 20th Century Fox)