Time To Try Something New?

20 Apr

I’ve been thinking lately that maybe its time I open up and try something new. Obviously, whatever I’ve been doing in the past isn’t working for me. It is something that has been on my mind for awhile but when I saw the following tweet by @IamMercedez it confirmed what I was already thinking.

What if my problem is that who I’m attracted to isn’t who I’m supposed to be with? When I spoke with the dating expert and life coach last month they both asked me what my “type” was. For some reason (probably wanting to be “politically correct”?), I felt uncomfortable with being totally honest. The fact is that my “type” tends to be black guys. When walking down the street if I spot a hot guy, 9 times out of 10, he will be black or mixed race.

I went to a predominately white school and always had crushes on white boys as a kid. I won’t even start on how hugely obsessed I was New Kids On The Block as a child (who am I kidding, I still love them even as a 33yr old!) but those things aside, I can honestly say that I’ve not had a romantic relationship with a guy of the ‘caucasian persuasion’ as an adult. It’s just one of those things I guess.

I can’t help but wonder if like a Kenya McQueen, a character in a movie called ‘Something New’ that I watched recently, could be missing out?

Simon Baker and Sanaa Lathan as Brian and Kenya in Something New

In ‘Something New’ the character Kenya is urged on by her friends to try something new and to let go of her dream of the “ideal black man,” she goes a blind date with an architectural landscaper named Brian, only to cut the date short once she sees Brian is white. The two meet again at a party, and Kenya hires Brian to landscape her new home. I don’t want to ruin the film for you, so I’ll let you guess the rest. However, it was interesting to see how Kenya dealt with her own personal hang ups as well as those of her friends and family.

As far as I’m concerned, it’s no different to a guys having a preference for boobs rather than bums, or blondes rather than brunettes. I just happen to have a preference for black and brown skin. It’s what ‘does it’ for me. I can’t apologise for that!

However, I am absolutely aware that I’m not doing myself any favours by limiting myself and don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of white guys that I find attractive. Problem is… they are all famous hahaha! I find US actors Eddie Cibrian, Sean Faris, Hugh Jackman, Mark Wahlberg and Zac Efron (Yes. I’m aware he’s about a decade younger than me, but did you see 17 Again? Nuff said.) beyond hot! Oh, and I have to give an honourable mention to the UK’s own David Beckham (hubba hubba).

But, seriously. Have you seen Eddie Cibrian??

Eddie Cibrian *Swoon*

Isn’t he gorgeous? Here is another one, just because its my blog, and just because I feel like it….

Look at those dimples!

Now, the question is, how do I meet these guys? White guys don’t approach me and the places I tend to socialise at tend to have a predominately black crowd. I accept that my Mr Right could be black, white, yellow, green or purple but how will I know unless I’m open to it, right?

I have so much more to say on this subject but I’m interested to hear your thoughts. Have you dated outside of your own race? Do you have ‘a type’? Any tips, advice, suggestions? What do you think of Eddie Cibrian? Come on, I want to hear from you!

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4 Responses to “Time To Try Something New?”

  1. delightfuleccentric April 25, 2010 at 11:06 PM #

    Did you ever see the movie “Chasing Amy”? The main female character is a lesbian, but she starts seeing a man. She says, about “deciding” to become lesbian, that by not dating women she was cutting herself off from half the population when it came to finding her soul mate. Then, when she started dating this man, she says that deciding to date women effectively cut her off from another half of the population, namely, men.

    That stuck with me for some reason, mainly because I get the point. There’s no telling who the love of your life is, and he (or she!) may not be a bit what you were expecting. That being said, I have a “type.” I’ve tried dating outside this type, but I’m just not interested! They don’t do it for me! And I can appreciate the yumminess of people outside my type, but that’s all it is – apppreciation. In the same way I can look at a beautiful woman and find her amazing, I have NO inclination to date a woman. Same goes for men outside my type.

    Sorry, that was a ridiculously long “comment.” And I’m not saying you SHOULD’T be open to something different. That’s not what I’m saying at all. If you find love outside your type, more power to you!

    • TheSingleFilez April 26, 2010 at 11:35 AM #

      No, I’ve not seen the movie but thanks for the heads up, I will definitely check it out.

      I totally hear you, I can’t change the fact that I’m attracted to what I’m attracted to but I’ve decided I’d like to be more open minded. I might end up clicking with someone I wouldn’t have even entertained the thought of – who knows eh?

      I’ll keep you updated 🙂

  2. Wendi B July 8, 2010 at 3:48 PM #

    This blog is scaring me! We’re so alike that I’m wondering if I’m the one writing it in my sleep and I don’t realise it!

    • TheSingleFilez July 12, 2010 at 12:11 AM #

      It’s good to know I’m not alone in my thoughts!

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